Denise’s Four Powerful Marketing Rules
Published October 10, 2009 | 
By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
These simple marketing rules were written with women home-based business owners in mind. Whether you’re marketing a product, a service or a business opportunity they all hold true and these rules can help you enjoy greater results and more cash flow in your business. Here goes:
1. A confused mind always says, “no.”
This means if there is ANYthing about your product, service or business opportunity that your prospective customer doesn’t get – they’ll say “no.” It could be a feature or a benefit – but it also could be just one single word or a phrase. Strive for clarity. Say things so your message resonates with them in a way that’s clear and understandable. To get results – marketing should never be about you – it should be about what’s clear and compelling to your ideal customers. If they don’t “get” a word, a term or a feature – you’re outta there. Marketing communications or a sales pitches most of the time should be communicated at an 8th grade level or less. And don’t use jargon unless you’re 100% sure your meaning will be understood.
2. People have to need it, want it and be willing to pay for it to be your customer.
Often I see home-based business owners with a great product or service, however they offer it to the wrong people. Maybe they’re intimidated when they think about approaching the right people. Maybe they believe they can convince the wrong people to buy what they have. Nope. Sorry. I learned from a very savvy business woman and bestselling author that, “If you think everyone is your customer – no one will be your customer.” Be more picky about who you do business with. Don’t go after the people who love it but never have any money – go after the customers who need it, want it and are willing to pay for it.
3. Stop spending your time and energy trying to impress others. Instead, spend your time and energy being impressed with others.
What does this mean? Well, if you ever go to networking meetings and events there’s a very good chance you try hard to impress people with who you are and what you do. You dress your best, figure out you’re elevator speech. These aren’t bad things – but it barely scratches the surface. Instead, when you take a genuine interest in others and ask questions – they will be impressed with you! So turn it around and stop worrying if you’re having a bad hair day or you have lipstick on your teeth.
4. People buy based on emotion and they back it up with logic.
You may have never thought about this before but politics is all about marketing. The candidate who leads with his resume and why he or she is the most experienced and qualified person for the job usually goes down on election day. In contrast the candidate who has an emotionally compelling message that goes straight to the heart and then backs it up with his or her qualifications is more likely to captivate voters. You may have never thought about it but chances are you have an emotionally compelling story that will catapult customers to your side when you back it up with features and benefits they like. Use your story.
These four simple marketing rules are just a start. If you truly take them to heart they will help you to get greater results with prospective customers and more happy “yes” answers from customers. Working with a marketing mentor can help you discover customized ways to leverage these four simple marketing rules so they work amazingly well in your business and you enjoy more success.
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
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Obama Surprise Winner for Nobel Peace Prize
Published October 9, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
This morning President Barack Obama was named winner of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. Tongues wagged.
Many felt the choice was an exciting one. Reflecting an acknowledgment of the international effect Obama has had. And, how people in many countries are more hopeful about America’s leadership, but also excited about their own prospects for peace and prosperity.
Some asked, “What has Obama really DONE?” They must’ve given the award on their expectations for what he’ll do in the future and not based on what the 44th President has accomplished.
Then – leave it to the whack job right wingers. Rush Limbaugh, with 20 million listeners daily, said he was in agreement with the Taliban – Obama shouldn’t get the award. For good measure Limbaugh said the world sees our President as a joke.
The Nobel Peace Prize is one of the greatest honors in the world. It establishes respect for a person’s work towards peace worldwide. Naturally, Limbaugh finds a way to flip it 180 degrees to appeal to his hate-besotted listeners.
Former President Bush spent eight years holding back progress – in science, medicine, culture and other facets of life. Like standing in the middle of the Mississippi River trying to hold the water back. No one could predict the rush of changes that bust loose January 20th on Inauguration Day. There was no stuffing the toothpaste back in the tube again.
The America I grew up in was largely a white, Christian country. There were minorities of every color and creed. But the majority was so firmly in control and dominant, people who didn’t fit the mold went with the program. It was the American way and no one ever thought it would change.
The last 25 years the American landscape has shifted dramatically. African Americans are about the same percentage of the population – but they’ve increased significantly in economic clout and influence in all sectors of American life. The numbers of Asians and Middle Eastern people, while still small, are evident in greater numbers. The biggest population shift is the millions of Hispanics, now proud Americans. Another sea change: the fastest growing religion in America today is Buddhism often embraced by former Protestants, Catholics, Baptists and others. Instead of teaching their children the words to “Onward Christian Soldier” they’re teaching them how to meditate.
White, right-wing Americans with their continued sense of entitlement are no longer the dominant demographic force. And they’re mad as hell. Seems like they’re afraid the rug’s been pulled out from beneath them. Not by Obama, but by the flood of population changes resulting in different priorities and different values. The USA isn’t all about them any more. Many are struggling to maintain a grip on the America that always felt so safe as it slips away. They still see themselves as the “real Americans” and everyone else is an also-ran Nobody’s trying to get into their exclusive “club” anymore.
The world views Afghanistan and the Taliban as stuck in the bad, old days of the Middle Ages. Limbaugh and his followers are right there along with ‘em. Trying desperately to hold back inevitable change. Shouldn’t that tell you something about the sheer power of this wave? (I’m hoping in a few years there won’t be sufficient numbers of ‘em to support ratings – and ad revenues – for national shows like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck.)
One obvious example of this came during the summer of our discontent as right wingers swooped down on Town Hall meetings to scream at politicians. One blonde woman in an Arkansas Town Hall meeting plaintively cried, “I’m scared! I want MY America back!!”
But you can’t stuff the toothpaste back in the tube again.
Personally, I wouldn’t want to. I live in a neighborhood that’s like a little United Nations. It’s a mix of White, Black, Hispanic and Middle Eastern folks. My husband’s originally from India so he adds a little Asian. Wide-sweeping changes are coming in science, health care, the environment, the economy and more. Right wingers still dumb-founded by Obama’s election – find it hard to fathom they’re not as “in control” as they always were. The safe mantle of entitlement they always assumed would be theirs is gradually being peeled away. As a result, screaming mean-spirited, racist people are rearing their ugly heads.
The times are exciting and honestly – I don’t love all the changes. I don’t love:
• How I feel I have to be plugged in and “on” all the time.
• The rudeness and animosity permeating both left and right.
• That objectivity has gone the way of the dodo bird in journalism
• If we don’t keep up with technology, well fuggedaboudit.
• It looks like we’re getting more deeply entrenched in Afghanistan
I do like that:
• We’re closer to real health care reform than ever before.
• Players on the world stage are looking to America to lead again
• Millions of African Americans now proudly wave American flags
• Millions of children who never felt they had a chance now have hope
• There’s a push toward a “green” economy and sustainable energy
I don’t know where all the change is going. My crystal ball’s a little smudged. I’m open to an America that works for everyone – not just a few. A country respected on an international stage. And whether President Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize as a result of his accomplishments or expectations for what he might do – I wish him well and proudly salute this honor. It also says those of us who voted for Obama because we were confident his approach would be met with approval on the world stage were right – and that feels great.
As for Limbaugh and his knuckle-dragging followers who cling desperately to the past like the Taliban and their right-wing sense of entitlement: you can’t stuff the toothpaste back into the tube.
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
My Copywriting Ebook
Posted in Uncategorized | 
change, Denise Michaels, Nobel Peace Prize, Obama, testosterone-free | 
5 CommentsThree Positive Economic News Headlines
Published October 9, 2009 | All three of the headlines below were released Thursday October 8th, 2009. This is good news for women business owners who focus on success as we go into the final stretch of 2009 and look to next year.
1) NEW YORK — The stock market resumed its rally after getting encouraging readings on two of the best gauges of the economy’s health: consumer spending and corporate profits.
The Dow Jones industrial average rose 61 points Thursday after falling modestly the day before. The gains added to the market’s already steep climb for the week. Improving signals about the economy pushed the Dow up 244 points Monday and Tuesday, its best back-to-back advance since July.
Traders pounced on news that retailers last month had their first sales gains in more than a year. A closely watched gauge of sales at major retailers rose 0.1 percent for September. While still tepid, it was the first monthly rise in the International Council of Shopping Centers-Goldman Sachs tally since July 2008.
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2) WASHINGTON (AP) – The number of newly laid-off Americans filing first-time claims for jobless benefits fell to the lowest level since early January, as layoffs eased a bit amid a fledgling economic recovery.
The fourth drop in new claims in five weeks is a sign the labor market is slowly healing. But employers are reluctant to hire new workers and the unemployment rate is expected to keep climbing well into next year.
The Labor Department said Thursday that new claims for unemployment insurance dropped last week to a seasonally adjusted 521,000, better than analysts expected and down from 554,000 the previous week.
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3) NEW YORK (AP) – The nation’s stores saw their first sales gain in 14 months in September, a sign of life from shoppers that fuels some hope for the holiday shopping season.
A late Labor Day and delayed school openings helped boost back-to-school sales in September. And stores’ figures are looking better as they are compared last September when spending plummeted amid the ballooning financial meltdown.
But analysts dissecting the figures say they feel encouraged by Thursday’s reports even as they acknowledge that business still remains weak and consumers tight-fisted.
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
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Posted in Uncategorized | Adventurous Women, business, focus, market, owner, sales, success | Leave a commentWhy Men are “Out There” About Their Businesses
Published October 8, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
A lot of women, home-based business owners tell me they don’t “get” marketing and how it works. After all marketing is a universe most of us are totally unfamiliar with. We want to get everything right, and, we’re less likely to shoot from the hip compared to men. Well, I can’t clear up all the differences in one brief article, but I can help you become more clear about how and when you talk about your business with others.
One of my friends was working with a male colleague who was going to help her develop a marketing plan. Suddenly the marketing plan he promised slipped through the cracks. He told her he didn’t have time to do it after all. He was starting a new business and anticipated hiring 20 new employees by the end of the year.
Naturally she was disappointed but she was even more turned off by his posturing that he was “so important” and going to create a pretty significant business in such a short time. She thought it sounded like a typical male full of bravado, big promises and hot air. She told me she’d never say such overly-confident things until she was actually hiring people.
I told her when men do this they’re project outward. It’s natural for them but it doesn’t come as naturally for women. Very often men tend to make things up based on what they want to happen – not necessarily what has happened. Sure, they may do the math first. However, they might assume they’ll get the capital to hire those people before they have it in hand. They assume big clients will come through or getting capital will be a slam dunk. They have positive expectations and talk about ‘em – because it attracts more people with positive expectations. They may have sat down and thought it out just like you. Creating a business and a marketing strategy takes a lot of educated guesses, talking and sharing with others. But no one really knows for certain. They’re flying by the seat of their pants. It’s like jumping off a cliff and building a parachute on the way down.
Women on the other hand tend to not say a word until their plan and resources are totally nailed down and in place. We hold things closer to the vest. We tend to wait and hold back taking a more reluctant stance toward risk-taking. It’s not as natural for us to project outward. We don’t move as much energy out beyond us.
There’s nothing wrong with a little well-placed bravado. Certainly not if our intentions are to create a dynamic, profitable business. The wrong people might be turned off. However, the right people are likely to attracted to others who are passionate about their vision. When business owners project outward and share what they want with others – they’re actually more likely to attract it to them by saying it over and over. Moving energy. In some ways business and marketing are a make it up as you go along proposition.
In contrast, I’ve discovered many women feel they must have all their ducks in a row and everything done and in perfect order before saying anything or getting started. They are afraid someone might shoot them down immediately. My former husband used to say, “It’s better to be quiet and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.” He was not a business owner.
Some women feel incorporating ideas and suggestions from others doesn’t “count” unless they dig up the information themselves. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You don’t have to discover everything yourself without help. Men use good ideas where they find them. Networking is about more than meeting potential customers. It’s about meeting people who might help you solve problems and refer you to others.
On the surface it may sound like a good idea to be 110% sure before speaking up about what you want to create in your business. In reality when you stay silent you’re not moving energy, building momentum or attracting people, ideas and resources to you. Start talking excitedly and passionately with people about your vision for your business. Share with them your intention. Tell others what you need in the way of support and resources. When you share it, you’ll be amazed and happy how many great ideas, resources, solutions and people will come back to you.
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
My Copywriting Ebook
Posted in A-has for Women | Adventurous Women, business, confident, Denise Michaels, home-based, marketing, testosterone-free, woman | 2 CommentsPost-feminist Woman – like Her or Hate Her?
Published October 7, 2009 | Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
It’s been a little over a year since Sarah Palin burst on the national scene as the Vice Presidential candidate on Senator John McCain’s GOP ticket. Palin’s managed to not only stay in the headlines but her new book, “Going Rogue” to be released in a couple weeks, is already a bestseller on Amazon.com
Like her or hate her, Palin’s probably a pretty good example of the post-feminist woman. A woman who’s unapologetic about her confidence and willingness to take risks. A woman who doesn’t back down. A woman who’s never intimidated and keeps charging through life no matter what.
Back in the heyday of the feminist movement many assumed a “new woman” would evolve from the old “Stepford Wife” stereotype. This would be a result of a nation where women have a similar upbringing and the same kind of opportunities as boys and men have to succeed in life. This woman wouldn’t be compliant, cheerful, deferential and always standing behind her man. She would be bold, confident and a risk-taker. We saw this new woman as a positive improvement.
So how do you like that “new, empowered woman” now?
When Palin first became a national figure, I saw her as an example of how we’ve evolved over the last 40 years.
We talk about how important it is for women to become more empowered. She has no need to talk about “being empowered.” She’s powerful. She doesn’t need a fight for equal rights. She’s got ‘em. And, what’s your problem if you don’t feel equal or if you feel men have an edge? She doesn’t. She busted down the door of the world’s most entrenched “old boys network.” In contrast, Hillary Clinton spent years trying to figure out how to get invited in. There isn’t a “victim” or “martyr” bone in Palin’s body.
Palin grew up actively involved in sports. Her parents told her, “You can be anything you want in life.” Isn’t that what women want for their daughters?
I’m not in agreement with her uber-conservative points of view. I voted for the other guy. But I remain amazed by her super confidence and the moves she’s made over the last year. Not necessarily in agreement with them – but still amazed. As a marketing mentor I deal with women clients who love their business but feel uncomfortable and weird about getting the word out and asking for the sale.
So let’s step away from politics – because let’s face it – her political career appears to be over. What are your thoughts on the new woman? After all, if women today have big responsibilities like paying the mortgage and handling the finances – it just doesn’t work to be the woman who feels uncomfortable asking for money. What are your thoughts?
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
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Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
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Posted in Confidence for U | Adventurous Women, business, competition, Denise Michaels, empowered, empowering, testosterone-free, woman | 2 CommentsYour Tips Appreciated on THIS One!
Published October 6, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
Okay, this is a weird one. Today at lunch I’m speaking in front of the Rotary Club of Las Vegas. When I was asked a couple months ago I jumped at the chance. Rotary is considered a pretty Class A group of business leaders in any city.
Usually when I speak in front of a group – it’s mostly women: most recently a Divisional meeting for Lia Sophia reps – sort of like a Mary Kay for jewelry. But I’ve also given talks for Mary Kay, Beauti-Control, Tupperware and others.
So, like I said, I jumped at the chance. Then after the date was all set I discovered that 80 percent of this group will be men and the other 20 percent will be women. Alrighty then… So my message is about “testosterone-free” marketing and these kind of guys are about testosterone-heavy, competitive, damn the torpedoes and eliminate the competition. Women are about building relationships and creating ways we have things in common and don’t want to eliminate anyone.
I teach women how to avoid all that testosterone-heavy stuff and still succeed. This kind of audience embraces all that testosterone-heavy stuff.
What to do… got any thoughts about this?
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
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Posted in Uncategorized | business, Denise Michaels, marketing, messaging, testosterone-free | 6 CommentsSeven Success Secrets I Learned Working with Robert G. Allen
Published October 4, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
During the seven plus years I worked with mega-bestselling author Robert Allen I never learned how to become a one minute millionaire. But I did discover some lessons that serve me well in life and business. Here are seven success secrets I carry with me today from that experience.
• HOPE: Once in his home office Robert turned to me and asked, “What do you think people want more of – the motivational stuff or how-tos?”
I replied, “How-tos, of course.” .
Allen added, “People will pay a lot of money for hope.” He was spot on. As I worked with protégés over the years in teleclasses and at seminars this lesson was reinforced over and over again simply based on what I observed. Help people see themselves as successful and a winner in the making. Even if they’ve failed in the past they’ll want to buy from you or know more about what you offer. Give them hope and encouragement.
• PASSION: I was bugging Robert to call a guy back who wanted him to become an investor in a business deal. He was avoiding calling the guy. Finally he called. “I’m not going to get in on your deal and here’s why,” he said. My ears perked up. Allen said, “I looked over your proposal and what you have is a winner – but that’s not the point. Sooner or later I’d get pulled into it and I only get involved with businesses I’m passionate about.”
Never again did I feel bad wanting to make money as a writer and as an author. I stopped feeling guilty about not signing up for MLM deals. If I have no passion for it as a business idea, I don’t do it.
• FOCUS: I used to pride myself on my ability to multi-task. I could juggle ten things at once. I noticed Allen did only one thing at a time. When working together he was 100 percent focused. If he had to call someone he was totally focused on that person. He never seemed stressed like me. I thought it must be nice to be a millionaire, then I’d have the luxury to think one thought at a time, too. I wasn’t envious of the fancy house or lifestyle – I was envious of having time to vision, think and create.
Then it dawned on me: maybe what helped him reach that level was focus. I decided to try it. At first I was afraid everything would fall through the cracks – but it never happened. Everything that mattered got done. I took time to vision and think. That time eventually resulted in my business-bestselling book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.”
• HIGHEST AND BEST: Once I came in the office and Allen was trying to put together a metal mesh trash can. Finally he looked at me and said, “Now THIS is the highest and best use of my time.” We both laughed.
I started asking myself, “What’s the highest and best use of my time today?” I began accomplishing more of the things that mattered. Checking emails is NOT the highest and best use of your time. Figure out what is – and you’ll accomplish more every day.
• ULTIMATE BENEFIT: I learned this from one of the teleclasses he taught before everything was delegated to other trainers, including me. New business owners often try to figure out what to say to bring in new customers. Allen said figure out your ultimate benefit and start there.
To determine your ultimate benefit: If I used your product or service 30 days, did everything and got a great result what would I have? That’s the ultimate benefit.
• THE 10 PERCENT: Allen read a less than glowing review of his latest book and sighed, “I get a lot of that.” I read the book and enjoyed it. He said, “You can have a business where 90 percent of people hate you and still be a millionaire with the other 10 percent.”
Those words gave me courage when my own book came out and was embraced by many but booed by a few. Knowing I can be “out there” and be my slightly crazy self gave me permission to be my authentic self. Knowing I don’t have to have everyone love me still helps today.
• BE OPEN: Allen was inquisitive and open to learn. He constantly asked questions and listened intently. It was almost as if he was doing market research. People often felt honored a millionaire author would really listen.
Ask questions and listen to what people tell you. It makes them feel good and it might help you get your next big, successful idea.
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
My Copywriting Ebook
Posted in Personal Growth | business, Denise Michaels, focus, hope, marketing, passion, success, testosterone-free | 4 CommentsDo Your Lack of Marketing and Selling Skills Hold You Back?
Published October 2, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
Does the thought of marketing your business drive you to chocolate? If “getting the word out” makes you feel overwhelmed, you’re not alone. After coaching over 1,400 men and women the last eight years I’ve discovered big differences between the genders and how we handle marketing challenges.
Women Owned Businesses: An Emerging Economic Powerhouse
Did you know women are starting businesses at 2-4 times the rate of men? Women-owned businesses employ more people than the Fortune 500 combined.
My book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” is about why marketing and sales make many women uneasy and what they can do about it to enjoy more success and put more profits in your purse.
Many women can’t relate to pushy sales and marketing tactics found in most marketing books, tapes and seminars. It just doesn’t feel like us – so we avoid it. We hate being pushy. It’s testosterone-heavy. We’re about relationship building and letting others come to us rather than pushing ourselves upon them. So you tend to wait for others to initiate a purchase. This is especially true for women raised to not “toot their own horn.” You may have tried to sell by just being friendly and being interested in others – and that’s a good thing. But it doesn’t quite work either.
Talented Women at the Crossroads of Success
Susan had a delightful personality and was a distributor for a network marketing company that made some amazing products to improve and maintain good health. She had a terrific experience with the products herself. And, she was comfortable signing up people who she believed would benefit. But to create a business that would generate full-time income she knew she must recruit business builders. Those are the big-time MLM heavy weights that have incredible abilities to build an organization. She asked, “Why would they possibly be interested in me?”
She stayed inside her comfort zone by only approaching people that she could secretly feel a little better than. She wasn’t threatened or intimidated. However, in this instance these people would use the products but there wasn’t a chance they were going to build their own organizations – and that didn’t help Susan’s monthly check very much.
I told her we all have something of value to offer others even if it’s not as easy to see on the surface as being beautiful or being rich. Your uniqueness is the reason people will want to do business with you. If you feel inadequate when you compare yourself with others, it’s not a business problem – it’s a self-confidence challenge.
Nurturing Women Can Have Abundant Cash Flow, Too
Women often bring to home-based businesses the same nesting, nurturing characteristics as at home. They also bring expertise about their products and services. Marketing and sales is out of their comfort zone. But “product knowledge” will not help most women sell more and create cash flow. Marketing and selling skills are necessary even if we do it far differently from the men.
Marketing is about drawing people in toward what you do. Selling is asking for what you want. You can’t wait for customers to approach you like you waited for the cute boy in high school History class to call for a date. Yet countless women business owners do. “Testosterone-Free Marketing” is about helping you discover woman –friendly ways to market and sell so you have more fun, feel more confident and make a lot more money.
Business will come to you, when you let the world know you are here, you are competent and you are ready for business. When you discover these keys, your cash flow will soar and your self-confidence will grow.
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
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Ten Tips to Have a Great Mentoring Relationship
Published October 1, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone Free Marketing”
People who are passionate about living an independent, financially free life often decide they want a mentor to provide insight and ideas to help them on their path. Maybe there’s someone in your industry you know, or, you just know of who could help you take your business to the next level. How can you get that person to share their wisdom and help you get on the right path? How can you rise above so they want to share and give you a little extra help?
I’ve been a mentor to people for years, but never more intensively than since I became an author, trainer, speaker and marketing mentor as my business. This article will help you know how women in business can approach a prospective mentor in a way that will make that person more positively pre-disposed to helping you succeed.
Read these ten tips and go find your mentor.
• Take an interest in the person as a human being. I have an Internet mentor whose wildly successful. After I ask him a question I always ask him about what’s going on in his life, share a joke or tell him something funny that’s happened. For example recently I wrote him and after asking I question I typed, “Tomorrow I’m speaking at a workshop, so right now I’m sitting in my desk at the hotel catching up on emails with hair dye on top of my head.” He wrote back that he laughed so hard he almost fell off his chair. You don’t have to tell your whole life story, but make yourself real. Make it light and fun.
• Don’t say, “I’d like to pick your brain.” My brain “done been picked dry” and I start feeling bored when I hear those words. I know the time I spend with that person will be nothing but an interrogation. Instead say, “I’d really value your opinion.” It’s gentler and I get the sense it’ll be a more pleasant conversation rather than an interrogation with harsh lights shining down. Besides mentors are like every other human being – they’re looking for win-win relationships, too.
• Don’t try to monopolize a lot of your mentor’s time. Especially at first. Connect in a way that’s quick and easy. Don’t invite them to dinner. That’s a two hour time commitment. If you’re at a seminar they probably already have meetings scheduled. If it’s at home, they probably want some “down-time” Offer to drive them to the airport or share a cab. Ask what they like in their coffee or tea. Bring it to ‘em and get 15 quality minutes.
• Be clear about what you’re doing and what you need. There is so much “murky thinking” in the world. I’m amazed at people who feel they must write five pages to express one idea. That means you don’t know what you’re talking about. Develop a clear elevator speech and mission statement. Think about one or two specific questions you need answered and think about your words and how to ask those questions clearly.
• Listen, listen, listen to what they say. Don’t think about all the reasons why you can’t. That’s part of the reason why you’re not where you want to be yet. Say something like, “I’m dealing with yada, yada, yada – how would you suggest I overcome those obstacles?”
• Don’t say, “I’m looking for a mentor.” It’s easy to deflect a statement like this with a smile and not make a commitment. Instead say, “Would it be okay with you if we connected by email or on the phone once in awhile to get your opinion? I’d really value that.” It would be hard to say “no” to a simple, clear request like that.
• Thank the person for their time. Don’t take well intentioned advice – especially when it’s offered free – without saying “thank you.” Tell them what you’re plan to do. When you take action, be sure to let them know. Always, always, always tell them when you take an action step. It’s so easy to follow-up with email and so gratifying for the person who’s mentoring with you.
• Many experienced people who avoid mentoring others do so because someone more novice will take their time and advice and never follow up. It feels like a one-way street. Over the years I’ve had people beg me for my time and experience and yet offer nothing in return. I’ve met a number of women over the years who’ve said, “Denise, but what do I possibly have to offer? This person is so much more successful than me.” I once had a business mentor, a highly successful millionaire, who met with me every 2-3 weeks to discuss my goals and I got his input and ideas on business strategy.
What did he get in return? He saw me as being successful in personal relationships, so he wanted my opinions, thoughts and insights on how he could be more successful in that aspect of his life. You never know what’s important to others. Never assume you have nothing of value to offer – you don’t know until you get to know someone.
• Reciprocate once in awhile. If you see an article you think they would enjoy – send it to them with a quick note. If you have a trade or a skill and can offer to help them out in some way – offer it. Don’t say, “How can I help you?” Then they have to figure it out. That’s effort. Say, “I’m really very good at _____. If you ever need _____ give me a call, I’ll be more than happy to help out any way I can.” Even if they never take you up on it, they will appreciate that you offered. Then, your relationship is one of equals.
• Make the link between cause and effect. Don’t put your mentor in a position where he/she has to figure it all out for you. You’re not a baby. The job of a mentor is not to take you by the hand every step of the way. Look in the dictionary under “mentor.” It’s to give you some guidance as you’re on your way. Your job is to make the link between what you’re told and how you’ll apply it to your life.
And one more tip as a bonus:
• Thank the person for their time. Don’t take well intentioned advice – especially when it’s offered free – without saying “thank you.” Tell them what you’re going to do and when you take action, be sure to let them know. Always, always, always tell them when you take an action step. It’s so easy to follow-up with email and so gratifying for the person who’s mentoring with you.
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Posted in Confidence for U | Adventurous Women, business, Denise Michaels, marketing, mentoring, testosterone-free | 3 CommentsWelcome!
Dedicated to every 40+ person still kickin' it. If you have dreams and adventures you refuse to abandon - follow me on the journey. Life is one big adventure! Make yours excellent.
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