Back to the Drawing Board
Published October 20, 2010 | 
In recent days I’ve gone back to the drawing board on this whole excellent adventure thing.
Y’know how it is – there’s something you want to do different in your life – and you want it right this moment. And the more your life is entrenched in being a certain way – the more of a struggle it is to unwind years of building and do something different. It’s like turning an ocean liner around. It takes a Herculean effort to make it happen.
It took me four years to write my book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” I thought I wanted to build a seminar empire like I worked for with Robert Allen. I watched and learned. I invested a lot in them – and in myself. And I enjoy speaking. It’s a blast. But the job of filling seats with attendees is 90% and speaking is the other 10% of the business. I finally came to the conclusion even though I’ve sold out the workshops I’ve done – I have no interest in spending 90 percent of my time worrying about how to fill seats.
I want to focus on writing. That’s what I’ve known God put me on the planet for since I was a girl of eight years old.
The Perils of “Cupcake Marketing”
Published September 7, 2010 | Let’s be honest. 
Many women who own businesses say they’re dedicated to creating success but they really have an expensive hobby. They take mincing steps questioning spending ten bucks on flyers or twenty bucks for a new book. But they effort spend hundreds on a new outfit or purse. Will this help you get closer to living an excellent adventure?
I call it Cupcake Marketing.
Back in the day women were always asked to bake cupcakes for bake sales. So they did. Some women still do. Many women always comply – and never ask for anything in return. They give it all away. Their hard work and ingredients are sold.
Eventually, many get peeved they’re always asked to bake cupcakes. But they wouldn’t dare say “no.” After all, they want to “be nice.” Nice is more important than time or money.
Another Excellent Adventure Get-together at Starbucks
Published July 20, 2010 | Yesterday I met at Starbucks with another group of aspiring adventurers. Boy, did we have fun! The purpose of these get-togethers is providing support for people ready to re-design their lives. Its about making big shifts and creating new life grooves.
We met at the Starbucks in the Chinatown area of Las Vegas. Believe it or not, Vegas has it’s own Chinatown area. I wanted to meet there because going to China and walking The Great Wall is on my “bucket list.”
We pulled a couple tables together and got our beverages. This time of year it’s too hot to drink anything other than an iced Passion Tea, for me anyway. Although there was an Iced Chai in the group, and, Ernie got a Vivanno smoothie.
We talked about our excellent adventures. We talked about the shifts we needed to make it happen. When you have commitments and a certain way of doing things it takes conscious effort to change. We also discussed creative ways to make it happen faster: from house-sharing to sleeping on trains (my husband’s favorite) to finding work along the way to provide funds.
What always amazes me is the sense of ebullient hope people show at these events. Everyone around the table yesterday has struggled with the economy the last couple years. From job layoffs, to down-sizing homes, to a recent divorce and a woman who gets around town by bus because she doesn’t own a car. Yet, I didn’t hear a single complaint. Not one moan about the recession. 
Instead, the conversation was about using the unexpected changes in our lives as a catalyst for positive growth. Turn lemons into lemonade. Rising from who you are now and gradually be, do, have something different. Totally different. It’s about your willingness to get out of your comfort zone. From an insurance agent who wants to be a life coach to a psychic who wants to write a book and travel the world.
I was proud of my group yesterday. Everyone who came is looking the right direction so they can thrive anew.
Are we a little crazy? Sure. We may drink the same iced coffee or Frappucino as the folks in suits rushing off to their jobs. But that’s where the similarity ends. We’re making happiness our aim. We’re redefining it in ways that happiness isn’t about the stuff you own. It’s about the experiences you have and the ways you share.
Join me at the next Excellent Adventure get-together coming soon.
All the best,
Denise Michaels
Author, ‘Testosterone-Free Marketing’
PS: Next month, I’m planning to put together a small tour of Starbucks in Southern California. I’ll be doing Excellent Adventure get-togethers. Want to meet and enjoy a get-together at a Starbucks near you? Can you gather a nice group of people looking to re-design their life? Let me know. I may put your city on my “tour.”
Teach a Man (or Woman) to Sell a Fish
Published December 2, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
Last Sunday morning I was watching, “Meet the Press” on NBC. The moderator, Dick Gregory, wisely decided to skip politics for once and talk about giving and gratitude since it was the week of the Thanksgiving holiday. He interviewed a couple of heavyweights on the topic.
The first half of the show he interviewed Rick Warren, pastor, of the huge Saddleback Church in Orange County California. Warren is also author of the mega-bestseller, “The Purpose-Driven Life.” Only the Bible has sold more copies than his book. The second half of the show, he interviewed Bill and Melinda Gates about their work with The Gates Foundation.
Early in the show Warren was asked about the old Chinese proverb, “Give a man a fish or teach a man to fish.”
Warren wisely replied that we also have to teach a man how to sell a fish – otherwise we end up with a glut of fish and poor fisherman who can’t sell their wares. And, I might add, then the fish start to stink.
Okay, I’ve been banging this drum for a long time now. I have many readers of my books, attendees at my workshops and marketing mentoring clients who’ve seen the light – however a lot of people still mistakenly believe that their ability to have a successful business lies in having a skill. It doesn’t. Your ability to have a successful business lies in having a salable product or skill and the ability to sell it.
I see people all the time who constantly go back for more skill training because they mistakenly believe that upgrading their skills will result in more business. Now, I’m not against upgrading your skills and keeping up. People do this because they’re fascinated by what they do – they want to learn more. People also do this because it’s safely within their comfort zone.
What I am against is the notion that increasing your skills and the services you can offer will create more cash flow. Most of the time it won’t. Learning how to market and sell effectively will increase your cash flow.
It’s like that ol’ quote by Albert Einstein, “Insanity means doing things the way you’ve always done them and expecting a different result.”
Here’s the good news about selling and the FIRST thing you need to learn: it doesn’t have to be pushy, obnoxious or anything negative. It should be win-win. It should be positive. After all, if someone buys your product or service they get to enjoy all the benefits. Start from that premise instead of the idea the mistaken idea that selling is always yucky or awful. After all, sales is what keeps our economy going.
Willing to Admit Your Level of “Cupcake-ness?”
Published November 12, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
Are you willing to admit you’re a cupcake marketer? C’mon, fess up. Confession is good for the soul. After all, admitting you have a problem is the first big step to solving the problem, right?
If you answer yes to any of the questions below – chances are extremely good you’re a cupcake marketer. Here are the telltale signs. Do you:
* Undercharge for your products and services compared to the going market rates? Yes No
(Millions of women do because they don’t trust in themselves, their ability to market and sell or both.)
* You say you do it “to be nice” or “to give back or “to pay it forward?” Yes No
(Your business is not a philanthropy – it’s a business. The purpose of a business is to make money – including a fair profit. Then once you make it if you want to give it to charity – that’s your business. But a business isn’t a charity.)
* Secretly wish you could hire someone to take care of the marketing and selling? Yes No
(You do this because you don’t know testosterone-free ways to market and sell. The highest and best use of time for any home-based business owner is to be selling.)
* Say, “I don’t do my business for the money – I do it for fun?” Yes No
(Which tells the world you’re probably not making much money. There are so many things you can do in the world for fun – travel, spending time with kids or grandkids, sports, hobbies, gourmet cooking, sex – the list goes on and on. Even though business can be a lot of fun – the primary reason is to make money – not fun.)
* Say, “I started my business because I love the product?” Yes No
(I love “Prego Spaghetti Sauce” and “L’Oreal Feria” hair color too but it doesn’t mean I’m going to start a business around it.)
* Try to get other women business owners to give you freebies to help you out? Yes No
(Just curious – how often do you actually BUY products and services from other women business owners? If you’re not buying regularly – you’re contributing to the pink collar ghetto and are a serial cupcake marketer.)
* Secretly (or not so secretly) you get upset if another women business owner refuses to give you freebies? Yes No
(Damn! Your plan to create money without spending any isn’t working. She’s not making it fun for you! If you feel you can’t control the situation – it happens because you don’t know testosterone-free ways to market or sell.)
* If they say “no” to giving you freebies do you run around and tell others online? Yes No
(Okay, you’re a cupcake marketer and a backstabber when you don’t get your way.)
* Are your finances tight yet you keep telling yourself if you give things away (or undercharge) it’ll all work out and come back to you eventually? Yes No
(Karma does come back around – but not always the way we want it.)
* Are you an MLMer, DMer or party plan gal signed up for more than one business opportunity, yet you aren’t making real money you can actually live on at any of ‘em? Yes No
(My marketing rule number one is “a confused mind says no.” When people see you’re home-based, with no staff and in more than one business they’re less likely to buy anything from you.)
* Do you see dollar signs when someone says, “You don’t have to sell the product – you just have to share the product?” Yes No
(You should run the other direction. It’s a lie.)
Here’s how to score your results:
1-3 YES Answers: Admit it, you’re a cupcake marketer. You’re learning a lot about your business, having a great time and you just know that things will come around and the dollars will start rolling in soon. But even if they don’t – you’re having fun and that’s what’s most important, right?
4-6 YES Answers: You got it bad girrrrrl. You keep a happy smile on your face and you still LOVE the product(s) or services you offer. But there are time when you’re a little discouraged. You believe if you keep doing what you’re doing it’ll all work out and come back to you. After all, isn’t that what “attracting” is about? Thank God your (pick one) husband, savings, 401k are there to keep the bills paid. For awhile anyway.
7-9 YES Answers: You’re a lifer. You’ve been doing serial businesses for years now. You haven’t quite found one where you don’t have to SELL the product or service you just SHARE it. However, you keep looking and hoping and telling others everything is “Fabulous!” with your current business.
10 or more YES Answers: You’re either homeless, couch-surfing or you have a very patient husband, boyfriend or partner picking up the tab. You don’t make enough money to even pay for groceries. No biggie, if you made a bunch of money either you wouldn’t be happy or you’d leave the jerk, anyway.
Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Get your copy by clicking here. And, get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners like you to be all you can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.
In tomorrow’s post I’ll break cupcake marketing down into smaller crumbs so you can understand why you do it a little better and help you get on the road to recovery.
Posted in A-has for Women | 
business, cupcake, Denise Michaels, marketer, marketing, product | 
Leave a commentHow to Avoid Dreaded Cupcake Marketers
Published November 11, 2009 | By Denise Michaels
A couple days ago I wrote about something I dubbed, “cupcake marketing.” Women business owners who tend to expect everything free because they’re not so good at making decisions about their own business and hence they never have any money. So, they give everything away free – and then, they expect you to do the same because you’re a woman. They wouldn’t dare ask a man to do the same – but they expect you, a woman business owner to jump at the chance.
One woman commented in a Facebook message that she had three people today who EXPECTED her to give away her products for free. Can you imagine the gall? Expected her. Not even very polite. More threatening than anything else.
I told this woman if so many people are asking her for freebies that there’s gotta be something about her demeanor, her message or something that people seem to expect it. She needs to check in with what she’s doing first to see what it is about the impression or perception she’s giving off that’s creating that result. She can’t control others but she can certainly control what she does.
In my business, I don’t get a lot of this. But I hear it happening with other women a great deal.
I recently had someone start up a chat with me on Facebook. She was singing the blues about her financial situation – most of which I know is a result of not this recession but very poor decision making. She has a husband and two kids from a previous husband that are in her parents custody. She wanted money from me. She wasn’t even trying to sell me something just wanted a donation as if I’m some kind of patsy or something. I said, “Please, don’t ask me.”
She shot back, “Okay, I’ll just tell others you don’t care about mothers with children.”
Wow!
We need to learn what it truly means to support other women business owners. It means BUYING their product/service and paying for it. Not expecting freebies all the time That’s one way we can really step toward getting out of the pink collar ghetto of struggle and financial dependence.
Here’s the deal: you aren’t a charity. The women you know who are business owners – they’re not a charity either. No matter how much you may be struggling at the moment and would like someone to just write you a check. It’s not going to happen because you’re not a charity and you’re not a victim. Stop expecting others to treat you like one. Start learning how to market and sell effectively. Treat your business like a business and set the intention that others do the same.
I give money to charitable programs all the time. I give a monthly donation to public radio. I give money to efforts that help the homeless. I gave ten percent of the proceeds from my workshop last week to the charity Dress for Success helps women entering or re-entering the work force with training and a business-appropriate wardrobe. Occasionally, I’ll give money or help to someone who doesn’t ask for it but I can tell really could use it.
Last week I had someone offer to do a professional makeover on me: she’s a makeup artist. It was fun, I learned some great new tips and tricks that made my face look better. When it was done I purchased $100 worth of her cosmetics from her. They’re pretty high end so $100 didn’t buy everything but it’s a good start and an empowering way I could show support for her business. Click here to see Lisa Monette’s line of amazing OLA products. I supported her by buying her product – and when I’m ready I’ll buy more.
Many women have the mistaken notion supporting other women means offering a hug and a listening ear. Well, it does. But if you do only that – and then stop at the Estee Lauder counter to buy cosmetics – it’s not enough. Buy products and services from other women business owners. Tell other women to buy their products, too. When you do you’re setting up the Universal flow of prosperity and abundance so people are more likely to buy from you. If you’re a cupcake marketer and always expect freebies – the Universe gets that your mindset is in lack. And you get to have more lack. Don’t let it happen. Don’t be a cupcake marketer. Or, do things that attracts other cupcakes, too.
Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Get your copy by clicking here. And, get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners like you to be all you can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.
Posted in A-has for Women | business, cupcake, facebook, marketing, message, owner, support, woman | 11 CommentsThe Perils of Cupcake Marketing Strategy
Published November 9, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
Last week I had an amazing workshop with a roomful of women dedicated to creating success in their business and in their lives. There’s been a terrific buzz all over town since. Attendees have called to say the information I shared is helping them increase their business income already. I’ve gotten offers for more speaking engagements and it just goes on and on.
Which is great but I keep thinking about the women who said “no.” It seems like some women declined out of fear. I wonder how far these women will ever grow with their home-based businesses?
Let’s be honest. A lot of women say they’re dedicated business owners but they really have an expensive hobby. So, when asked to consider a small investment to discover easy, testosterone-free ways to grow, they’re not interested because they don’t want to grow. They take mincing steps forward and question spending ten bucks on flyers. But they spend hundreds on a new outfit or purse. They drive a great car. It’s all about priorities.
I call it Cupcake Marketing Strategy.
You know how women used to always get asked to bake cupcakes for the bake sale for their kid’s school, the church, the library or whatever? They were asked to bake, so they did. Some women still do – every time. Many women always comply when asked – and never ask for anything in return. Then the organization sells their hard work and ingredients, the cupcakes, for a dollar each. Eventually, many get a little peeved that they’re always asked. But they wouldn’t dare say “no.” After all, they want to “be nice.” Nice is more important than their time or their money.
Pitching in and giving everything away is admirable when it comes to helping out in the community. However, it can spell disaster in business when we use that same penny-pinching thinking and don’t speak up for ourselves.
I’ve met women who seriously undercharge for their products and services because they lack the marketing skills and confidence to charge what they’re worth. They think they’re “being nice.” However, “niceness” results in a constant squeeze for money. To compound matters, they end up having a tough time getting new customers because people mistake “niceness” for incompetence. They think, “Gee, you don’t charging the going rate. Must be because you’re not be as good.”
Being “nice” is a totally different thing from being “pleasant” or “polite.”
Here’s the crazy part: instead of learning to politely decline, they keep doing it. Einstein said, “Insanity means doing things the way you’ve always done them and expecting a different result.”
Next these ladies try to figure out ways to get things free or discounted from other women – because they’re financially strapped. They wouldn’t DARE ask a man to discount his prices. This results in more women with financial challenges. They feel they can’t say “no” because they want to be nice. Maybe they’ll gripe to someone else – but never the person who asked them. After all, they don’t want the other person upset.
Oh, puh-leez… can we all just grow up a little?
The whole thing has spiraled out of control like an over-sized swirl of buttercream frosting on top of a Red Velvet cupcake. We are held to a totally different standard of “how to do business” from men. In so doing, we’ve created a pink collar ghetto of women entrepreneurs struggling to avoid getting a real job. Women who say, “everything is great” when they meet others. Most aren’t thinking about thriving – they’re too busy just surviving. In my experience these women believe someday:
* I’ll be able to charge full price
* I’ll gain the respect I should have
* People will see my true worth
* I’ll make enough money to end the struggle
* I’ll stop working like crazy with very little reward
It’s like believing someday your Prince will come. He’ll sweep you up in his strong, muscular arms and take you away from all the financial stress. If you’re really nice it’ll all work out and you’ll be rewarded for that. Well, yes karmically I believe that what goes around comes around – but if there isn’t a focus on financial gain – it won’t necessarily come back as financial good.
Someday is today. Nothing will sweep your stress away if you don’t figure out effective, testosterone-free ways to create more business income. There are three ways to build more business income:
* Get more customers (new and repeat business)
* Charge more for what you do
* Get customers to make larger purchases when they buy
Prince Charming in your business is about increasing your confidence, your marketing and your testosterone-free selling skills.
Stop waiting for people to notice your worth like you waited for the cute boy you passed in the hall in high school to notice you. That’s okay in dating – but will spell disaster in your business.
Shift your thinking, level of “deserving-ness” and marketing skills, chances are you’ll your business income will increase. No one taps you on the shoulder and says, “Okay, the coast is clear. You can now charge $XXX per hour instead of $XX per hour.” No one gives you a raise or permission. You must give yourself permission. Validate yourself. Take yourself seriously.
If you have the intention and you’re willing to do what it takes to make it happen – then you’re dedicated. If this describes you send me an email at mentoringwithDenise@gmail.com and I’ll put you on my list of people interested in possibly attending my next workshop. It’ll be held in Las Vegas sometime in February or March of 2010 and it’ll probably be a two day event. Worth traveling to if you don’t live here already.
The point is I’ve watched enough victims of cupcake marketing who don’t even realize they’ve fallen prey to it’s perils. If you’re ready to stop struggling and live an abundant, financially prosperous and deeply satisfying life say, “ENOUGH!!!”
Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” You can get your copy by clicking here. And you can get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners to be all that they can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.
Posted in A-has for Women | confident, cupcake, dedicated, home-based, nice, struggle, success, workshop | 7 CommentsDo You Care about Increasing Cash Flow in Your Business?
Published October 25, 2009 | By Denise Michaels
I used to attend a women’s business networking group where the social aspect was the most important thing and doing business was way down on the list. Even though their mission statement said they were committed to business. It wasn’t a group getting together for martini’s or margueritas at the end of the day. This group of 25-30 women business owners arrived once a week at 7:00 am for breakfast and they all acted like business didn’t matter much.
Doesn’t that seem a little weird?
Coming across as if you care about business and making a fair and abundant income for what you do is considered crass and icky by many women in what seems like all age groups. It’s as if it’s just supposed to happen – without asking or saying anything. These are the same women who privately fret over their bills because they don’t have enough money to cover everything. It’s almost as if somewhere in their subconscious they want someone to step in and handle it all. Write them a check to cover the shortage every month and just say, “It’s okay, honey. I know it’s tough out there. I’ll take care of you so you can go play and not worry about those nasty ol’ bills.”
A sugar Daddy – but no one calls it that because that would mean we’re golddiggers. None of us wants to be perceived as caring much about money, or, having a relationship about money. We just want it all to magically be taken care of without having to ask. That’s what husbands used to do.
Remember when Princess Diana died? It was August of 1997. There was a massive outpouring of grief and tears worldwide by women that totally eclipsed the death of any other celebrity. The funeral was watched by over a billion people around the globe. What was that about?
Many women saw in Diana a beautiful, caring woman who represented our desires for Camelot and Prince Charming. Someone to take care of everything and make it all better. Even after she and the Prince divorced, she didn’t have him but she still had money, the elegant estate, the gorgeous gowns and the worldwide stature as a Princess and everything that implies. When she died the hope for a handsome man swooping in on a white horse and saving us from all the headaches of “the real world” died, too. That’s where I believe a lot of the tears came from.
We really gotta get over our immaturity over money and making money.
I’m not suggesting we become money-grubbing and take advantage of customers. That’s a sure way to be unhappy and go out of business. I’m suggesting women charge what they’re worth instead of under-cutting themselves because they don’t feel “worthy” of as much money as others, or, because they want to “be nice.” Which usually translates into, “I don’t want to market myself and I hope by seriously undercutting my prices I won’t have to.”
Except this “strategy” boomerangs. People don’t think people cut prices to be nice. They figure, “Gee, she’s probably not as good.”
Same thing when it comes to asking for the sale. Many women won’t ask. They keep hoping customers will say, “Okay, I’ll take two.” Or, they ask in such a hesistant way customers sense their hesitation and back off.
We really gotta get over it.
A lot of other women say they do their business for fun. If a person doesn’t need money there are so many amazing things you can do for fun: travel, write a book, volunteer, go to the gym and work out, get involved in your community politically, enjoy hobbies, crafts, learn to be a gourmet cook, play tennis or golf, play with children and grandchildren. When did business become an outlet for “fun” for women and not about making money? A lot of women aren’t being honest or fair with themselves and others.
Yes, there can be many satisfying aspects to owning a business for women. And there should be. But not caring about making money? The purpose of a business is to make money. That’s the primary purpose. If you’re not making money you don’t have a business – you have an expensive hobby.
Isn’t it time we grow up and get over it? Isn’t it time we stop kidding ourselves, hoping some mythical figure on a white horse will swoop in and make it better so we can keep not caring?
We really gotta get over it.
Posted in A-has for Women | Adventurous Women, business, Denise Michaels, money, owner | Leave a commentBetter Marketing and Selling Skills Can Improve Your Marriage
Published October 11, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
Maybe this sounds like a big leap, but being successful in your business as a woman can actually make your marriage better and your husband more loving. I’m defining success as the perfect blend of enjoying what you do AND creating cash flow. Not one or the other – you get to have both.
Yes, I know there are men threatened by their wives’ success.
The first thing to do is unwind a couple powerful, but unhelpful beliefs out there that keep us twisted up trying to make money – but at the same time not make money. It’s like driving down the freeway with one foot on the brakes and the other on the accelerator at the same time. After all, a business without positive cash flow isn’t a business – it’s an expensive hobby.
Belief One: for men, there’s a strong belief that making money will bring love. The most lovely, caring wife, the family and the income to support it all. Most people have a belief this is so. It’s why many women – when they’re looking for love – also look for a man who can support her future family. We’re attracted to confidence and that begets success. Confidence and a can-do spirit is sexy. I’m sorry ladies, but 40 years of feminism doesn’t change four million years of human conditioning.
Belief Two: far too many women have a deep-seated belief, often subconscious, that making significant money will take love away from them. Many women fear if they make a good income he’ll be threatened and leave. Or, she might wake up one morning and say, “What am I doing with this turkey?” and leave. It doesn’t help that back in the day when women first started making good incomes in the 60s, 70s and 80s that happened – a lot.
If you’re married to a good guy – chances are his paycheck goes to taking care of many household expenses. It doesn’t really belong to him – it belongs to the family. But when things are flipped – for many women their paycheck never goes into the family checking account. Sure, it might pay for groceries and other things – but when you want a new pair of shoes – you get ‘em. When you want a little splurge or pampering you look at your money – and if you can do it – you spend the money.
When you truly want to be on an equal footing you stop looking at the money as his belongs to the family and yours belongs to you. Instead all the money is family money. You look at how your income can improve your lifestyle for the entire family rather than paying for splurges. You stop looking at your money as temporary and therefore fleeting and you look at it as part of your lives together.
You have a conversation with your husband. You say something like, “I want my business to be successful – because I love you and I love our family. It’s not just for fun – it’s for income, too. You’re the only one for me and I want us to have a great life together. I’m ready to stop sabotaging myself and really do the things that will make a difference. Which means putting less attention on _______, and more attention on marketing and selling.”
Then say, “Hon, I know you’re doing a great job and we’re a team together. But it’s really hard for one person to do it all in 2009. I want to learn ways to contribute more to our family as a team because I love you and I want us to have a great life together. I want us to be able to give our kids a good education and have a secure retirement someday. I’m not talking about putting more time into my business –I’m talking about re-focusing my energy into doing the things that will make more income in my business. I’ve avoided it – but it really means learning how to market and sell more successfully.”
Over the last eight years I’ve mentored over 1,400 women and a lot of men, too. In a few instances the women I mentored walked away from their marriages. These were very troubled marriages even before she started a business. In far, far more instances a woman making more money resulted in bringing a husband and wife much closer together because he felt a little less stressed and she saw her success not as something that split her from her husband – but something that brought her closer to him. After all, men find confidence sexy, too.
Posted in A-has for Women | business, Confidence for U, Denise Michaels, empowered, marketing, marriage, relationship, selling, testosterone-free, woman | 1 CommentWhy Men are “Out There” About Their Businesses
Published October 8, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
A lot of women, home-based business owners tell me they don’t “get” marketing and how it works. After all marketing is a universe most of us are totally unfamiliar with. We want to get everything right, and, we’re less likely to shoot from the hip compared to men. Well, I can’t clear up all the differences in one brief article, but I can help you become more clear about how and when you talk about your business with others.
One of my friends was working with a male colleague who was going to help her develop a marketing plan. Suddenly the marketing plan he promised slipped through the cracks. He told her he didn’t have time to do it after all. He was starting a new business and anticipated hiring 20 new employees by the end of the year.
Naturally she was disappointed but she was even more turned off by his posturing that he was “so important” and going to create a pretty significant business in such a short time. She thought it sounded like a typical male full of bravado, big promises and hot air. She told me she’d never say such overly-confident things until she was actually hiring people.
I told her when men do this they’re project outward. It’s natural for them but it doesn’t come as naturally for women. Very often men tend to make things up based on what they want to happen – not necessarily what has happened. Sure, they may do the math first. However, they might assume they’ll get the capital to hire those people before they have it in hand. They assume big clients will come through or getting capital will be a slam dunk. They have positive expectations and talk about ‘em – because it attracts more people with positive expectations. They may have sat down and thought it out just like you. Creating a business and a marketing strategy takes a lot of educated guesses, talking and sharing with others. But no one really knows for certain. They’re flying by the seat of their pants. It’s like jumping off a cliff and building a parachute on the way down.
Women on the other hand tend to not say a word until their plan and resources are totally nailed down and in place. We hold things closer to the vest. We tend to wait and hold back taking a more reluctant stance toward risk-taking. It’s not as natural for us to project outward. We don’t move as much energy out beyond us.
There’s nothing wrong with a little well-placed bravado. Certainly not if our intentions are to create a dynamic, profitable business. The wrong people might be turned off. However, the right people are likely to attracted to others who are passionate about their vision. When business owners project outward and share what they want with others – they’re actually more likely to attract it to them by saying it over and over. Moving energy. In some ways business and marketing are a make it up as you go along proposition.
In contrast, I’ve discovered many women feel they must have all their ducks in a row and everything done and in perfect order before saying anything or getting started. They are afraid someone might shoot them down immediately. My former husband used to say, “It’s better to be quiet and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.” He was not a business owner.
Some women feel incorporating ideas and suggestions from others doesn’t “count” unless they dig up the information themselves. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You don’t have to discover everything yourself without help. Men use good ideas where they find them. Networking is about more than meeting potential customers. It’s about meeting people who might help you solve problems and refer you to others.
On the surface it may sound like a good idea to be 110% sure before speaking up about what you want to create in your business. In reality when you stay silent you’re not moving energy, building momentum or attracting people, ideas and resources to you. Start talking excitedly and passionately with people about your vision for your business. Share with them your intention. Tell others what you need in the way of support and resources. When you share it, you’ll be amazed and happy how many great ideas, resources, solutions and people will come back to you.
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
My Copywriting Ebook
Posted in A-has for Women | Adventurous Women, business, confident, Denise Michaels, home-based, marketing, testosterone-free, woman | 2 CommentsDo Your Lack of Marketing and Selling Skills Hold You Back?
Published October 2, 2009 | By Denise Michaels, Author “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
Does the thought of marketing your business drive you to chocolate? If “getting the word out” makes you feel overwhelmed, you’re not alone. After coaching over 1,400 men and women the last eight years I’ve discovered big differences between the genders and how we handle marketing challenges.
Women Owned Businesses: An Emerging Economic Powerhouse
Did you know women are starting businesses at 2-4 times the rate of men? Women-owned businesses employ more people than the Fortune 500 combined.
My book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” is about why marketing and sales make many women uneasy and what they can do about it to enjoy more success and put more profits in your purse.
Many women can’t relate to pushy sales and marketing tactics found in most marketing books, tapes and seminars. It just doesn’t feel like us – so we avoid it. We hate being pushy. It’s testosterone-heavy. We’re about relationship building and letting others come to us rather than pushing ourselves upon them. So you tend to wait for others to initiate a purchase. This is especially true for women raised to not “toot their own horn.” You may have tried to sell by just being friendly and being interested in others – and that’s a good thing. But it doesn’t quite work either.
Talented Women at the Crossroads of Success
Susan had a delightful personality and was a distributor for a network marketing company that made some amazing products to improve and maintain good health. She had a terrific experience with the products herself. And, she was comfortable signing up people who she believed would benefit. But to create a business that would generate full-time income she knew she must recruit business builders. Those are the big-time MLM heavy weights that have incredible abilities to build an organization. She asked, “Why would they possibly be interested in me?”
She stayed inside her comfort zone by only approaching people that she could secretly feel a little better than. She wasn’t threatened or intimidated. However, in this instance these people would use the products but there wasn’t a chance they were going to build their own organizations – and that didn’t help Susan’s monthly check very much.
I told her we all have something of value to offer others even if it’s not as easy to see on the surface as being beautiful or being rich. Your uniqueness is the reason people will want to do business with you. If you feel inadequate when you compare yourself with others, it’s not a business problem – it’s a self-confidence challenge.
Nurturing Women Can Have Abundant Cash Flow, Too
Women often bring to home-based businesses the same nesting, nurturing characteristics as at home. They also bring expertise about their products and services. Marketing and sales is out of their comfort zone. But “product knowledge” will not help most women sell more and create cash flow. Marketing and selling skills are necessary even if we do it far differently from the men.
Marketing is about drawing people in toward what you do. Selling is asking for what you want. You can’t wait for customers to approach you like you waited for the cute boy in high school History class to call for a date. Yet countless women business owners do. “Testosterone-Free Marketing” is about helping you discover woman –friendly ways to market and sell so you have more fun, feel more confident and make a lot more money.
Business will come to you, when you let the world know you are here, you are competent and you are ready for business. When you discover these keys, your cash flow will soar and your self-confidence will grow.
Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:
Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
My Copywriting Ebook
Welcome!
Dedicated to every 40+ person still kickin' it. If you have dreams and adventures you refuse to abandon - follow me on the journey. Life is one big adventure! Make yours excellent.
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
RSS