Are you making the moment excellent right now?
Are you feeling relaxed and fulfilled with your direction?
Answering those questions is about making an assumption you KNOW what makes you happy. You KNOW what makes a moment excellent and fulfilling.
Some people feel there is no greater joy in life than helping others. Later on down the pike some of those same people reach a pivotal moment when they decide, “The hell with this! These people don’t appreciate my hard work and efforts.” So a life that’s been based on providing service and kindness to others results in burn out and feelings of disappointment and resentment.
So, first it’s about struggling to figure out what change they need. What will make them feel happy and fulfilled. Challenging when your entire adult life has been about service to others and not about even tuning in to what you want.
Y’know how it is – there’s something you want to do different in your life – and you want it right this moment. And the more your life is entrenched in being a certain way – the more of a struggle it is to unwind years of building and do something different. It’s like turning an ocean liner around. It takes a Herculean effort to make it happen.
It took me four years to write my book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” I thought I wanted to build a seminar empire like I worked for with Robert Allen. I watched and learned. I invested a lot in them – and in myself. And I enjoy speaking. It’s a blast. But the job of filling seats with attendees is 90% and speaking is the other 10% of the business. I finally came to the conclusion even though I’ve sold out the workshops I’ve done – I have no interest in spending 90 percent of my time worrying about how to fill seats.
I want to focus on writing. That’s what I’ve known God put me on the planet for since I was a girl of eight years old.
Friends are fascinating. We see in them who we are – and sometimes we see who we don’t want to be. It’s natural to want to help people who are struggling but very often what’s most screwed up is their mindset. For whatever reason each person must experience their own journey just like a butterfly must release itself from it’s cocoon or a baby chick must break free of the egg on it’s own.
This post is about three people I know and care about. All have fallen on tough times economically. All have been pushed into massive mid-life change and are doing their best to deal with the adjustments. Each has handled it differently.
I want to make positive changes to simplify my life. So, when the time is right, Ernie and I can take off for the great beyond around the world. It’s about paring back on the amount of stuff I live with daily so when it’s time to live for a month or two out of a carry on bag I can do it without getting out of my comfort zone, struggling or freaking out.
Okay, maybe not just a carry-on. A carry-on and one checked bag. I think I can do that.
Recently, I’ve pitched four pairs of shoes. Still have dozens more to go. I have four pairs of pink shoes. I have a pair of sandals with kitten heels in lime green. Yes, Ernie calls me, “Imelda.” And, so many clothes I can’t neatly fit ‘em in my walk-in closet and massive, antique bird’s eye maple bureau.
It takes money to go on an Excellent Adventure. Even if you’re budgeting by couch-surfing, you’ll need money for planes, trains, meals and other things so you’re never caught short of cash. If you’re going to make money online as you travel it’s still a good idea to have a reserve to fall back on as you travel.
For decades Americans have been awful when it comes to saving. We were the largest debtor nation ever and our savings rate was in the negative numbers. Most Americans had an average of six credit cards with $10,000 to $20,000 in debt.
Change means releasing the old and embracing the new. Crazy thing is, we don’t always know what to embrace.
For a few years I’ve felt change bubbling inside. The last decade I’ve helped over 1,500 mostly home-based business owners enjoy greater success. I’m a marketing mentor – and I’m good at what I do. When clients act on what I teach – and most do – I’m thrilled for them.
When “Testosterone-Free Marketing” was released I left the Robert Allen organization. Yep, author of mega-bestsellers like “Nothing Down,” “Multiple Streams of Income,” and “The Enlightened Millionaire.” I was his Executive Assistant for 18 months. Then I became the top Marketing Trainer and mentor for his Enlightened Millionaire program for six years.
My head exploded with confusion, frustration and disgust. Digging through the trash next to a dumpster wearing plastic gloves (What does THAT say about my state of consciousness?) thinking, “This is CRAZY!” Rivulets of sweat trickled down the small of my back in the 104 degree heat.
Where did my car keys go?
In a moment of Zen, I observed my reaction, going ballistic, ready to burst into tears. I kept thinking the situation was stupid. Not that I was stupid. Bent out of shape over mis-placed keys? Why? Because replacing ‘em cost almost $300 dammit. Those cool, little clickers to unlock the car door don’t come cheap.
Last week I met a new friend for lunch. We’re the same age, both child-free, and entrepreneurial. I wanted to know more about her. She wanted to discover more about living an excellent adventure. Tracey’s a graphic designer.
“Do you design websites?” I asked. Many graphic designers do. I was thinking about a client who needs tweaking on his website. I thought I could refer business her way.
She caught me by surprise when she replied, “No, I don’t do web stuff. If you want an ad laid out for a print publication, brochure, a business card or anything in print – that’s what I do.”
It would’ve been easy to say, “Oh, okay,” and drop it. I couldn’t. This woman has big plans. She wants to go places and change the world. And, she needs cash flow to make it happen. Truth is, print to a large degree, is going the way of the dodo bird.
I asked why she didn’t expand her skills to where the greatest demand can be found. She looked at me with resignation in her eyes and said, “My brain is full.” We both laughed.
At 52, we’ve experienced so much technological change. We both remember dial phones and manual typewriters. It’s a struggle keeping up. I’ll stick knitting needles in my eyeballs before keeping up with it all. At least I try to keep growing and expanding my knowledge.
I have another friend, Harold. We’ve been good buddies for years. He’s steadfastly pooh-poohed the expanding role of the Internet, social media, blogs, etc. I don’t know if there’s a connection but his business has been through excruciatingly rough times the last two years. I’ve lent him my copies of “Tribes” by Seth Godin and “Crush it” by Gary Vaynerchuk. I’ve showed him how to set up a fan page on Facebook and a WordPress blog. He still doesn’t quite fathom its vast influence.
You could’ve plunged a dagger into my heart last week when he said he believes a huge movement will turn away from the Internet toward more personal, one-on-one connections. Oh, if it was only true.
Both Tracey and Harold want great things. Each is brilliant and has much to share with the world. Unfortunately, neither are willing to go through the learning curve and change required to make it happen.
If you want to re-design your lifestyle so you can live an excellent adventure and you know you need to create income as you go – the internet is key. Look for a business that’s less about passion and more about efficiency so you can have your excellent adventure while working far less hours. It’s doable and you can make it happen.
Yesterday I met at Starbucks with another group of aspiring adventurers. Boy, did we have fun! The purpose of these get-togethers is providing support for people ready to re-design their lives. Its about making big shifts and creating new life grooves.
We met at the Starbucks in the Chinatown area of Las Vegas. Believe it or not, Vegas has it’s own Chinatown area. I wanted to meet there because going to China and walking The Great Wall is on my “bucket list.”
We pulled a couple tables together and got our beverages. This time of year it’s too hot to drink anything other than an iced Passion Tea, for me anyway. Although there was an Iced Chai in the group, and, Ernie got a Vivanno smoothie.
We talked about our excellent adventures. We talked about the shifts we needed to make it happen. When you have commitments and a certain way of doing things it takes conscious effort to change. We also discussed creative ways to make it happen faster: from house-sharing to sleeping on trains (my husband’s favorite) to finding work along the way to provide funds.
What always amazes me is the sense of ebullient hope people show at these events. Everyone around the table yesterday has struggled with the economy the last couple years. From job layoffs, to down-sizing homes, to a recent divorce and a woman who gets around town by bus because she doesn’t own a car. Yet, I didn’t hear a single complaint. Not one moan about the recession.
Instead, the conversation was about using the unexpected changes in our lives as a catalyst for positive growth. Turn lemons into lemonade. Rising from who you are now and gradually be, do, have something different. Totally different. It’s about your willingness to get out of your comfort zone. From an insurance agent who wants to be a life coach to a psychic who wants to write a book and travel the world.
I was proud of my group yesterday. Everyone who came is looking the right direction so they can thrive anew.
Are we a little crazy? Sure. We may drink the same iced coffee or Frappucino as the folks in suits rushing off to their jobs. But that’s where the similarity ends. We’re making happiness our aim. We’re redefining it in ways that happiness isn’t about the stuff you own. It’s about the experiences you have and the ways you share.
Join me at the next Excellent Adventure get-together coming soon.
All the best,
Author, ‘Testosterone-Free Marketing’
PS: Next month, I’m planning to put together a small tour of Starbucks in Southern California. I’ll be doing Excellent Adventure get-togethers. Want to meet and enjoy a get-together at a Starbucks near you? Can you gather a nice group of people looking to re-design their life? Let me know. I may put your city on my “tour.”
Back in the day – the average person didn’t have access to media. They talked at us. We either listened, listened and purchased or turned the channel. Now, it’s a whole new ball game.
Until recently Old Spice was a tired, old brand. Enter some new ads (seen largely as YouTube videos) featuring hunka, hunka burnin’ chocolate love former NFL wide receiver Isaiah Mustafa. So far so good. The videos are going crazy on YouTube.
Here’s where it shifts. Old Spice asked people to submit questions to Old Spice guy. One guy asked if he’d propose to his girlfriend. He did.
Go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-fLV28SkZ8 (If the link doesn’t work, copy and paste it into your browser window.)
The proposal video featuring Old Spice guy’s been online six days and has over 736,000 views. What does this mean? The average person has access to getting a message out in ways that were formerly impossible.
When my book was released, I wanted like crazy to get on Oprah and other national shows. Unfortunately, my crackpot publisher (don’t ask!) didn’t get distribution to major booksellers – so, no national TV exposure. I struggled, but made “Testosterone-Free Marketing” a business bestseller with internet sales – so it’s all good.
People ask, “When will you write another book?” Or, “When will you go BIG?”
My aim is to write and hopefully help people that way. It doesn’t have to be a book – but I do want to get paid. If I have an idea for a book I must write – I will. The world’s changing. Lately, I’m happy blogging, writing articles, etc. I can create a following using social media. When that following is big enough, I can get paid without being in bookstores or getting on Oprah.
Visit your average bookseller. What do you see? Books written by celebrities and wannabes. People with a big platform of fans growing bigger. People seen in Hollywood, reality TV, politics, or, they’ve had bestsellers out for decades. This is where the majority of book contracts go. Where are the thoughtful, intriguing books written by an unknown author that make you think and discover new ideas? They’re buried or never make it into print. Without promoting the right way – well, fuddegaboudit.
Recently I met a woman who paid $65,000 for a package that promised support getting her book written, published, promoted and a bunch of bells and whistles. The guru who sold her the package fell short. But that’s not the point. People are desperate to crack the code on becoming known.
Create an Internet following and your own platform. Become a known expert on twitter, your fan page or your blog. Don’t wish and hope for national TV exposure. Build your following, your tribe, one happy fan at a time. And, do it from your laptop or Ipad while enjoying an excellent adventure.
If there’s something you’re doing or not doing – that isn’t getting you the results you want in life – the answer is simple. It’s right here in this hilarious video.
Don’t over-complicate your life. You CAN make positive changes in an instant.