By Denise Michaels

For over a decade now, women have been inching toward creating a new kind of success – business success.  Most aren’t interested in building the next General Motors or MicroSoft.  Does this sound like you?

You want to provide a service your passionate about and genuinely enjoy.  You want to live a nice life doing what you love.  You don’t want to be consumed by work and business on a 24/7 basis. You want success – on your own terms.

Chances are you started your business excited about helping clients AND making money.  However, in the recesses of your mind you may have believed you wouldn’t make much money right away.

So you started:  full of hope, working hard, getting your ducks in a row.  You’re building a good reputation with your services at a rock bottom price. The strategy? “As my reputation and my brand grows – I’ll gradually increase my fees.”

Click here now for my upcoming webinar program, “Get Paid What You’re Worth – for Women!!”

Oh, the best laid plans of mice and men…

Reality often shows a picture that’s quite different.

As a marketing mentor for over a decade now, here’s what I see – a woman a few years later who is still passionate about helping people with what she does. Only now she’s a little discouraged and living month to month on less money then she did back when she had a job. Struggling to pay her bills.  Wondering when it will get better.  Does this sound like you?

• A web designer – client of mine – was dangerously undercharging. She thought she was taking her business seriously – but she really didn’t know how.  People weren’t seeing her value even at her rock bottom prices.  I got her to triple her prices. Not all at once – but she did it.  She actually gets MORE web design clients than she used to, she has a part-time helper at her home who also does dishes and vacuums. And now her husband is no longer bugging her about going out and getting a “regular job.”

There’s a silent code which says there’s something unseemly, unattractive or not “nice” about women who have the nerve to CARE about making money.  Society sees that woman as strident, cold and calculating.  We don’t like her one bit.

If you quietly look down on another woman who is making the big bucks in her business – how can you possibly feel good about the thought of making a larger income from your own business?

For some inexplicable reason you may quietly judge women who show clear, focused ambition. “She’s okay,” we might sniff. “I just don’t happen to like her. I don’t know what it is about her.”

Click here now for my upcoming webinar program, “Get Paid What You’re Worth – for Women!!”

After all, in our Mom’s generation (maybe Grandma) a woman’s job was to make a home – not make an income. It was a husband’s job to bring home the bacon. Women were not allowed in that arena.  Ever. 

Money was rarely talked about in in mixed company. And, it sure as heck was NEVER talked about in the quilting circle, the garden club or the coffee get-together. In my groundbreaking book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” I say that 40 years of feminism doesn’t wipe out 40,000 years of human conditioning.

• Met an attorney and mom of three at a summer barbeque two years ago. She told me she charges half what other attornies charge to be nice. She was stunned how her clients didn’t seem to respect her. I suggested she double her fees. She balked. Six months ago I bumped into her and she had the same lament. I gave the same advice and told her how to do it. Two weeks ago she called and said, “It worked!” She’s making enough income now to hire a part-time assistant AND a housekeeper one day a week. Plus, she STILL has 25% more income after paying her new helpers, but less stress, more time for family, and, more respect from clients and peers.

“She only cares about the money!” is one of the worst insults.  It implies a woman who’s dishonest, lacks integrity, doesn’t care what she does to get money, and, who might even gladly sell her kids down the river for a few extra bucks. Okay, I’m only joking about that last part. *smile*

Some men are still threatened by a wife who makes as much or more money as he does. A few knuckle-dragging Neanderthals still exist.  Just as many men don’t give a darn one way or another. It won’t change his love for her. But she’s still wired to the unspoken belief he might be bent out of shape if she’s successful.

A fascinating study I read about a year ago said man’s greatest fear is that if he’s not successful he’ll lose everything that matters to him. He’ll lose love and his family.

Conversely the study also said a woman’s greatest fear is if she’s successful she’ll lose everything that matters to her. She’ll lose love and her family.

Click here now for my upcoming webinar program, “Get Paid What You’re Worth – for Women!!”

These are extremes – but our subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference. We have put in place a glass ceiling of our own making.  Now, it isn’t some mean-spirited male boss trying to keep us in our place.  It’s us doing it to ourselves. Most women who are struggling to succeed as business owners are stopping themselves from creating and enjoying success.

• A copywriter in one of my webinars was approached by a highly successful man about writing his web copy.  Then he dropped a bomb and tried to dicker her prices down.  She replied, “Sir, with all due respect, I can’t afford to work with people who can’t afford my fees.”  Not exactly what I taught her – but she stood up for herself.  He replied, “I can afford you.  I just wanted to see if you’d go lower.”  She said, “I’ve already given you an excellent price.”  Within 24 hours she had the largest check she’d ever received on her desk via FedEx.  Within three months she quadrupled her income.  In less than a year she moved out of her crappy little apartment and into a luxurious condo overlooking a golf course.

Isn’t it time to stop condemning ourselves and judging other women for caring about money and our financial future?  Why do we assume making money, passion and integrity cannot happily co-exist?  Why do we assume the people we love the most will suddenly turn on us when we’re successful?

It’s time to stop:

• Working harder and harder to make up for not clearly, politely asking for what you want in your business.
• Allowing clients to dicker down your fees, as they moan about “the economy and then silently resenting them later
• Spending tons of your valuable time doing “research” instead of spending that time creating more income
• Living the little ”white lie” that everything is fine to keep up appearancesyou’re making more money then you are
• Secretly worrying about the fact that you’re not saving money for your future needs as you probably should.
• Smiling at clients and not even telling them when you give away hours of time you should rightfully get paid for
• Spouting silly excuses about ”giving back” as a reason for undercharging when your own cup is almost empty

Click here now for my upcoming webinar program, “Get Paid What You’re Worth – for Women!!”

Women are starting businesses faster than men, and have been for almost a decade now.  Isn’t it time we stop acting like we don’t care about money?  That’s the purpose of having a business – to make money. If along the way you get to express your passion and do what you love that’s a wonderful thing.  But the purpose of enterprise is to create income.

Get honest with yourself.  When you do – you may discover you’re finally ready to release yourself from The shackles of what you thought was being “nice” and go for it, free from the bondage of limiting thoughts that have held you back until now.