How does Inspiration Work?
Are you inspired enough to write your book? 
Yesterday I was conducting one of my group book mentoring calls with a group of eager, enthusiastic, aspiring book authors. One member of the group told me he was ready to write the introduction to his book. I was stunned. Its two and a half months in to a six month program. I thought – why hasn’t he written his intro already?
I had to get to the bottom of what was going on and help him move forward.
Generally when you haven’t dug in yet – it’s possible it’s an issue of time management. You simply haven’t sat down and communicated the ideas out of your head and onto the ‘puter screen. Often the challenge is you don’t have a good idea yet for that part of the book. Why waste valuable time sitting down to write when you don’t have a good idea?
You may protest and say, “But Denise, I’m so crazy busy I haven’t had time.” Usually I discover the person hasn’t made the time because he or she is unsure where to go next. You don’t have the next great idea. Yet.
I was surprised with this particular writer. From the first time I spoke with Bill it seemed like he was incredibly clear about the message of his personal growth book. From Day One I’ve agreed with him he’s on track with his overall message. I still feel his topic is an excellent fit with the focus of his successful business. It will dovetail nicely, help position him as an expert and bring new clients his way. He’s ready for that success and elevated credibility as an expert. I’m honored to be helping him and all the people in my groups. He was stymied about how to execute that message.
He told me, “It’s just a matter of sitting down and knocking it out.”
Whenever I hear a sentence that begins with “It’s just a matter of…” I’ve learned most of the time there’s more to it. There’s something in the way. There’s “matter.” Matter is weighty stuff. It gets in the way of moving forward.
If this describes you, it’s possible you haven’t have put your finger on the obstacle yet. Often the best relief for the “matter” that gets in the way (for all of us) is coming up with a good idea. Once again you’re propelled forward, writing happily. How do you come up with that next great idea? If you’re in my program you throw it out there on our live group calls twice a month. If you feel “stuck” you share it on our once a month bonus call. I can help undo the logjam. That’s what I do.
In Bill’s case I knew something was blocking him from getting his introduction done. It’s my job to help unravel whatever is in the way so he can get his introduction done and move on to the next chapters.
Many writers believe to get inspired and keep writing, the heavens open and these gorgeous rays of sunlight spill down upon us and God speaks and bingo – we’re inspired and we know what to do to keep writing amazing prose and finish the next chapter and then on to finish the entire book. Or, we’ll research online and the perfect idea will appear on our screen. Or, we’ll be talking with a friend, or, out for our morning walk enjoying nature and the perfect idea will pop into our consciousness.
It happens. Sometimes.
However, more often when we sit down and write the perfect idea comes to us and flows through our brain, down our arms and into our hands. Then our fingertips dance across the keyboard and BAM – inspiration. Surprisingly, what most people don’t realize is that when they sit down to write – the first thoughts that come through usually aren’t the best ones. Not yet.
In fact, I generally suggest you plan on deleting the first few paragraphs because they won’t be your most brilliant. I learned this way back in college. If you’re patient and keep writing – the good stuff will come. Before you know it you’ll be smiling to yourself saying, “This is GOOD!” and know this is why you love to write and why you’re excited about getting your book done.
Save deleted stuff, by the way. Later, it could spin into a great article, a speech topic or perhaps it belongs in another chapter later in your book.
Inspiration for many, many writers is a function of sitting down to write. Look at your book outline and decide to write on the topic that gets your heart racing slightly. Or start writing on the topic that intrigues you most. Face that blank page and start pouring out your thoughts onto the computer screen.
I guarantee – the first sentences and paragraphs you write won’t be all that and a bag of chips. If you keep with it though, the inspired, clever, thoughtful – and yes I’ll say it – BRILLIANT thoughts will come. Be patient. Stay with it.
We live in an immediate gratification world. The fastest technology on the planet won’t help you pull great ideas out of your brain any faster. If you will simply clear your mind of distractions, be patient with yourself and simply sit down to write – it will come to you. The “matter” will gently move out of the way and you will be delighted with the amazing thoughts you will write that will help readers everywhere when they get their hands on your book.
Denise Michaels is C.E.O. and Founder of the “International Book Writing Guild.” She leads group book mentoring programs for writers of how-to and personal growth books. For more information contact her on Facebook or email her at mentoringwithdenise@gmail.com Website coming soon.
The Perils of “Cupcake Marketing”
Many women who own businesses say they’re dedicated to creating success but they really have an expensive hobby. They take mincing steps questioning spending ten bucks on flyers or twenty bucks for a new book. But they effort spend hundreds on a new outfit or purse. Will this help you get closer to living an excellent adventure?
I call it Cupcake Marketing.
Back in the day women were always asked to bake cupcakes for bake sales. So they did. Some women still do. Many women always comply – and never ask for anything in return. They give it all away. Their hard work and ingredients are sold.
Eventually, many get peeved they’re always asked to bake cupcakes. But they wouldn’t dare say “no.” After all, they want to “be nice.” Nice is more important than time or money.
Mark is on the Road to Re-designing his Life
Every morning we wake up and get a fresh new start to make our lives into whatever we want.
However, the longer we’ve been doing a career, a business, parenting, caregiving or any other activity that fills up our days, weeks, months and years – the deeper our “brain grooves” become. The deeper our “life grooves” become, too. We make commitments to others. We take on mortgages, children, business partners and more. We dig ourselves in. It’s more difficult to make a big life change. As we pass ages 40 and 50 it can seem almost impossible to re-design our lives.
Meet my buddy, Mark Michael. He’s 50 and has attended all four Excellent Adventure
meetings I’ve conducted. At the first meeting what he wanted to do was vague, to say the least. It was about marketing seminars and the whole thing was filled with twists and turns. Plus it was an industry he had no experience in. As a marketing mentor I said, “Geez, you like a challenge don’t you? This is a difficult business model and nothing built in for repeat business.”
If someone fights for their dream and their passion I’ll back off and say, “If its REALLY what you want – let’s make some shifts to make it happen.” Mark didn’t fight.
At the next Excellent Adventure meeting he had a huge picture book under one arm. Not just a coffee table book – this book could be an entire coffee table. It was filled gorgeous pictures of the US National Parks. From the primeval forests of Washington to the sandy Florida Keys. I knew he had something great in the works.
Mark said, “I’ve been thinking. I want to take an RV and travel to every National Park. It’s always seemed like an impossible dream. THAT would be my excellent adventure.”
I said, “That’s great. Don’t be attached to it having to look a certain way. Be open to creative ways to manifest what you want.” Mark agreed and every day started looking at his book with the beautiful photographs. He started talking with people, too.
Yesterday Mark came to my get-together at Starbucks. He was brimming with excitement. When it was his turn to speak, he said he’d met someone with an RV who wants to do the same thing but is looking for a traveling companion. He still needs to work out some financial things – but it seems like he’s getting his ducks in a row quickly. Kudos to you, Mark! You are making it happen.
Do You Cheat Others When You make a Profit?
One impressions I get from many women is that deep in your heart you may have a subconscious belief that you’re cheating others and are somehow bad if you make a profit.
Do you feel guilty when you make a healthy profit on what you do?
Do you charge enough for your products and services or do you undercut yourself at times?
Yesterday I had a meeting with a lovely woman who owns a business but spends all her time promoting others. She doesn’t take any money for doing this. In fact, when she’s tried to charge for helping others in this way – sending out notices for others on her e-newsletter and other promotional strategies – people are actually angry with her and say she should be doing it free.
In the meantime, her dear husband is working his tail off trying to make ends meet and his job is based on earning commissions. Unfortunately over the holidays the commissions were very low and now they’re trying to figure out how to pay all their bills.
I asked some probing questions of this woman and discovered that her Mother was a stay at home mom who only worked part time on an infrequent basis. My client got a lot of deeply negative messages about women who promote themselves and try to be anything but humble and meek. Messages like:
“Don’t get a big head.”
“Don’t be conceited.”
“Don’t be selfish.”
The message she got was that when she is nice and gives everything away and constantly helps others she’s being “a good woman.” When she does something for herself – she’s not a good woman. So, she keeps creating circumstances that reinforce that perception.
The challenge is when it’s time to pay the bills – if you’ve shorted yourself on what you charge, you end up falling short when it comes to your lifestyle and paying your bills. You can’t exactly go to your mortgage company or the grocery store and say, “Um, I’m a really nice person. Would you give me a little extra discount?”
Of course we know that’s silly. Why? Because these real businesses don’t give extra discounts. So if you consider yourself a real business – why are you undercutting yourself?
Here’s where it comes back around: In the real business world people don’t say, “Gee, that’s so nice. She’s only charging me $$ instead of $$$.” Instead they silently think, “She’s charging so much less than market rates – she must not be as good.”
Traditionally women always gave away our work. We have a history as volunteers. And, for centuries we were at the bottom of the totem pole when it came to jobs. Women were praised for being selfless and for constantly giving with no expectation of ever receiving anything in return except the warm fuzzy feelings of knowing we’ve helped. We made our husbands look good in the community while he took care of the messy job of going out and slaying dragons. Additionally, many of us have dealt with boyfriends, husbands and partners who became threatened when the woman they love made significant money or enjoyed a level of success.
We live in a very different world than the world our mothers lived in when they raised us. We were raised to be good wives, moms, sisters, daughters, friends and maybe a good employee. But we certainly weren’t raised to be a good business owners. And, it’s extremely difficult in this day and age for husbands to carry the whole load.
What thoughts, beliefs or attitudes were you raised with regarding the money you earn? Was it different for a girl in your home or your community compared to a boy? How much is enough? Is it fair for you to get a healthy profit? Will those warm, fuzzy feelings pay the rent or the mortgage?
Women are now starting businesses at double the rate of men. This has been true for over five years now. But many women business owners struggle because they’re uncomfortable about what it says about them to be successful when they feel a societal expectation for women to keep give everything away. Is it a good thing to make a profit? Or, does it mean you somehow had to claw over others to gain success? Is your business struggling because you’re new and just getting off the ground? Or are you struggling for other reasons?
All the best,
Denise Michaels
Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
PS: Sign up for my free Marketing and Empowerment Tips by clicking here.
Manifest a Man Who will Love You Forever (Part 2)
By Denise Michaels,
(This is a continuation from Part 1.)
So, I knew I needed to make big changes. I knew I’d have to get out of my comfort zone to find true love.
I wrote an essay about what I wanted in a man. This is important. It doesn’t have to be an essay. It could just be a list. But here are a few crucial things to remember:
* If you want something in a man – you must be his equal because nature abhors a vacuum. If you want him to be fit and healthy it helps if you’re fit and healthy, too. If you want him to have a college degree it would help if you do too – or you’re working on it. It doesn’t have to be even-steven, but it has to make sense. If you want something you don’t possess – it helps if you have something else that compensates for that lack in a specific area.
* Sometimes we don’t realize it consciously, but what we THINK we want is actually what OTHERS want for us. Usually parents, girlfriends or someone else we have a close relationship with. These people have influenced us for years. They’re also the people whose approval we want so much we will unconsciously sacrifice perfect love (okay – almost perfect love *wink*) so they’re happy with us.
* Think about what will make your heart and soul happy. In my essay, I described how I wanted to feel when he touched me or held my hand. I described how I wanted his smile to affect me. I wanted him to be a good listener and have an easy sense of humor. I wanted him to be kind, gracious and liked by others but 100 percent true to me. I wanted him to have a good relationship with any children or exes. If he had children I wanted them to be grown.
* I didn’t care how tall he was as long as I could wear a medium heel and he’d be a little taller. I’m only 5’4″ tall and Ernie’s about 5’8″. After previous husbands who were 6’1″ and 5’11″ tall I learned height, though attractive, has nothing to do with real love. I also wanted a man who had a college degree who understood business but I didn’t want to be in competition. I wanted him to be supportive of my crazy ambitions and comfortable letting me shine. Ernie is all that.
* I didn’t care how much money he made but I wanted him to be self-sufficient and responsible with the money he did have. Traditionally women wanted men who make big bucks because at a primal level it was about looking out for the welfare of our future children. Now, its more about him being able to afford bling and a MacMansion. Don’t you trust in your ability to make your own money?
* Sweet, kind, supportive guys usually aren’t Wall Street Wonders or Captains of Industry slaying dragons and doing multi-million dollar business deals. Those guys want you to endlessly support them and be the Trophy Wife, not the other way around. The good guys are the men most women don’t notice. Or you’ll say, “He’s not my type.” They’re a teacher, web designer, social worker, computer geek, physical therapist, police officer or some other average position. These men can have a heartful of love to give.
* Millions of women are so busy drooling over “bad boys” and “players” – they never see the good guys. Open up to the idea that your type is an “unconditionally loving” man not a particular “look” or someone whose a constant challenge to your sanity or your self esteem. Slick guys lead to heartache. Why? Because they’re not emotionally available. They don’t know how to love a woman. They don’t have the maturity to be a loving husband to you.
* Don’t try to make him more loving, affectionate or communicative. The magazine headlines are wrong. Many women try to turn a person into a project. Stop wasting your time. Look for a guy whose naturally loving, affectionate and communicative. Upgrading his wardrobe and his hair isn’t difficult – but just about everything else is. It’s easy to change a man on the outside and almost impossible to change him on the inside. Besides, loving a man’s “potential” isn’t loving him – it’s loving what you WANT him to become.
Back to my story…
I didn’t date for almost a year – but I noticed when I started dating I was connecting with nice guys. I dated these men about a month and decided as nice as they were – we didn’t have enough in common to sustain a relationship. I looked at it as “practise.” I practised being open and vulnerable. I practised what it was like to share my feelings with a man and not have him whomp me over the head with ‘em later. Being vulnerable did make me more powerful.
When I finally met Ernie I just KNEW. I’d changed my perspective and my expectations of men. I changed what I thought of as important. So when I met that guy – my wonderful husband Ernie – it was instant. And yes, his smile still melts my heart, his touch makes me feel I’m home and he’s still a great listener.
When you get away from what you THINK you’re supposed to want and make different conscious choices that really work with the love you want to feel – that’s when you find love that’ll make you feel happy and fulfilled the rest of your life.
Isn’t that what you really deserve?
Tomorrow’s post: back to business. *smile*
Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Get your copy by clicking here. And, get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners like you to be all you can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.
Manifest a Man Who will Love You Forever (Part 1)
Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
In a few minutes I’ll get up, go to the kitchen and go make my whole-grain blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Ernie’s home. I wouldn’t make ‘em for myself because I’m not really a breakfast person. I’m more of a yogurt, granola and berries kind of breakfast person. You know those cups they sell at Starbucks or Panera Bread? Love ‘em.
But he loves a big breakfast and now that he’s finally home from his big project in SoCal, I’m more than happy to fire up the griddle and give him the big, weekend breakfast he loves.
The last five weeks he’s been working on a project in Southern California. He took the short-term assignment because it was very good money and he’s starting a business soon – so it gave him a short-term cash cushion before getting started. He’s come home most weekends – but by Sunday afternoon he had to turn his car around and drive away for another week. Now he’s really home.
Funny how when he’s around most of the time – I find him a little annoying. He’s always interrupting me to talk as I’m working at the computer. Sometimes I’ll get up from my chair and give him a hug and a kiss because I discovered if I give him a little attention he gives me more space. These last five weeks I’ve missed those annoying interruptions. I’m so glad he’s home. After twelve years his smile still brightens my world and his touch makes me feel I’m right where I belong.
This isn’t a regular post on marketing, personal growth or common sense. But, it’s the weekend so I’m sharing how much it means to me to have a wonderful love. Even when I get mildly annoyed I don’t take it for granted. If you look under my archived posts for October 18th 2009 there’s a post about how we met. You can read the story there.
This post is about the things I did before we met to manifest Ernie. This isn’t a blog on finding love or dating. And I know you can be in a space where you’re perfectly happy without a love. But I know so many wonderful, single women who want to find the man of their dreams, either they’re divorced or never married, and it’s eluded them. (I’ll go back to business focused articles on Monday.)
A year and a half before meeting Ernie I was in a relationship with a man that became physically abusive. That’s how low I’d sunk in my ability to choose a good guy. I was 37. One day I was driving home from a busy day and I didn’t want to go home to the arguments, the drama and being flung on the floor or punched again.
I thought, “I’m too smart for this.” I suddenly realized with blinding clarity, “Based on results, obviously I’m not too smart or I wouldn’t be in this situation.” I passed by the small house I rented and kept driving. I drove to a Burger King, sat down and had a soda. I went home and announced he had 30 days to pack up and move out. Or, I’d get a restraining order. I helped him find a new place and that was that. Fortunately, he didn’t who come back or stalk me. He was gone and I was relieved.
I was working part-time in sales. I made pretty good commissions so I could do my own thing when I left the office about one-ish in the afternoon. I went to my boss. He and his wife were also friends and hiking buddies. I announced, “If I’ve seemed distracted, out of it, unfocused or anything – this is why.” and I explained. “But it’s over, he’s gone and thank goodness, I’m moving forward.”
My boss’ jaw dropped. He said, “I’d never guess anything like that could happen to you, Denise. You come to work in a good mood, you’re focused, you do a great job. I’m stunned.” He and his wife gave me hugs and we talked a little more. He recommended I buy a book titled, “Conscious Loving” by Hendrickson and Hendrickson.
I made a commitment to myself:
1. I would give myself time to heal. Not just form “emotional scar tissue” – but truly heal.
2. When I was ready I’d do whatever it takes to find true love – even if it meant getting out of my comfort zone.
I bought the book and started reading. I was sitting at my kitchen table with the sun streaming in the window on a Saturday morning. I read, If you want a true, loving, co-creative relationship you must be willing to give up all your emotional baggage from the past. You can’t bring it into a new relationship because it’s almost like a third person – and a negative one at that.
I had a panic attack. I’d never had a panic attack before – there I was clutching my chest and gasping for air at the kitchen table for about 30 scary seconds.
The book went on to say being vulnerable and open about your feelings in a loving relationship gives you power. I had so much scar tissue from two divorces by age 34 and other bad relationships that thought was totally opposite from what I’d come to believe. My experience was if I was open and vulnerable about my feelings people would find a way to hurt me. I wore my scars and hurts with pride like The Red Badge of Courage. This was be a total change. I took a deep breath. After all, everything I’d done in the past didn’t work. I was ready to change even if it meant stepping into some scary places.
More to come tomorrow…
Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Get your copy by clicking here. And, get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners like you to be all you can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.
Common Sense can Increase Your Sales
By Denise Michaels
Years ago I worked for a millionaire who said, “Common sense is uncommon, Denise.”
I watch with amazement new women business owners and I see what they become. Sometimes the results are spectacular. Other times they’re not. I meet people in networking meetings, on my teleclasses, at workshops or through emails that lack so much basic common sense I wonder how successful they could ever possibly become.
Daily I get emails and phone messages with no name. How can you form a relationship with people you want to help you if you don’t tell them your name? Doesn’t it make sense a mentor would be more inclined to help people they know, like and appreciate – starting with their name? How will this person ever complete a business transaction?
When making calls to people a couple weeks ago regarding my workshop – even though I just left my name, number and where I met the person – fully two-thirds never called back. All of them say they want more business – so why wouldn’t they return a phone call?
People miss phone meetings because they get confused about which time zone they live in. How will these people ever complete business deals if they can’t keep their own time zone straight?
Make it easy for people to say “yes.” Keep your word and be a person people can count on. Learn how to count time zones. If you do business with people outside the USA, as I occasionally do, learn how to use one of the easy currency converter sites. If you have to miss an appointment, be gracious enough to let the person know. The more you make your request easy and idiot-proof, the more likely you are to get a “yes”. The more difficult you make it, the more likely you are to get a “no.”
A great example was a man who sent me a lengthy email stating he wanted my help with marketing but he was afraid to share his idea because he was ripped off by someone else. I replied, “If you want me to sign a Confidentiality Agreement or anything so you feel comfortable speaking with me, I’m happy to do so.”
His reply said, “Okay, write up a legal agreement, print it, sign it and mail it back to me.” He made it overly difficult to help him so I didn’t.
The piece de resistance was last week. A woman wrote asking if I knew anyone who could help her with her website issues. I contacted a web expert who’s a woman. I gave the web expert the name and contact info of the woman who needed help creating a website. She replied, “Tell her she can call me if she wants to.”
I told her Lesson Numero Uno when someone gives you a referral is to be pro-active and follow up yourself. If you don’t, your referrals will dry up.
Lesson Number Two: go back to the person who referred you, thank them again and share with them what transpired. People who refer you want to see you succeed. They want to know what happened. If anyone helps you, go back and tell them how things turned out when you used their suggestions.
If you want to be successful you must take on success habits. That means not only visionary thinking and the right attitude, but also doing the little things right like returning phone calles. Make it easy for people to say “yes” to doing business with you.
Think about “cause” and “effect”. Think about what you want the experience of doing business with you to be like. What steps can you take to make it easier for prospective customeers to say “yes”? How can you think from their point of view and make it a slam dunk?
When people help you out, do you get back to them, thank them and let them know how their advice turned out? Or, do you act as if you’re somehow entitled and never say a word? Life is easier when you treat others as you want to be treated. It boils down to The Golden Rule.
Do you have a story from your business of someone who didn’t mean to do the wrong thing – but just plain didn’t have any common sense at all?
Take an extra moment to think things through in a way that makes people want to say “yes”. Use that uncommon common sense that’s so rare. Just by doing the right thing – you’ll have a huge advantage over others in your industry.
Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Get your copy by clicking here. And, get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners like you to be all you can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.
Willing to Admit Your Level of “Cupcake-ness?”
By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”
Are you willing to admit you’re a cupcake marketer? C’mon, fess up. Confession is good for the soul. After all, admitting you have a problem is the first big step to solving the problem, right?
If you answer yes to any of the questions below – chances are extremely good you’re a cupcake marketer. Here are the telltale signs. Do you:
* Undercharge for your products and services compared to the going market rates? Yes No
(Millions of women do because they don’t trust in themselves, their ability to market and sell or both.)
* You say you do it “to be nice” or “to give back or “to pay it forward?” Yes No
(Your business is not a philanthropy – it’s a business. The purpose of a business is to make money – including a fair profit. Then once you make it if you want to give it to charity – that’s your business. But a business isn’t a charity.)
* Secretly wish you could hire someone to take care of the marketing and selling? Yes No
(You do this because you don’t know testosterone-free ways to market and sell. The highest and best use of time for any home-based business owner is to be selling.)
* Say, “I don’t do my business for the money – I do it for fun?” Yes No
(Which tells the world you’re probably not making much money. There are so many things you can do in the world for fun – travel, spending time with kids or grandkids, sports, hobbies, gourmet cooking, sex – the list goes on and on. Even though business can be a lot of fun – the primary reason is to make money – not fun.)
* Say, “I started my business because I love the product?” Yes No
(I love “Prego Spaghetti Sauce” and “L’Oreal Feria” hair color too but it doesn’t mean I’m going to start a business around it.)
* Try to get other women business owners to give you freebies to help you out? Yes No
(Just curious – how often do you actually BUY products and services from other women business owners? If you’re not buying regularly – you’re contributing to the pink collar ghetto and are a serial cupcake marketer.)
* Secretly (or not so secretly) you get upset if another women business owner refuses to give you freebies? Yes No
(Damn! Your plan to create money without spending any isn’t working. She’s not making it fun for you! If you feel you can’t control the situation – it happens because you don’t know testosterone-free ways to market or sell.)
* If they say “no” to giving you freebies do you run around and tell others online? Yes No
(Okay, you’re a cupcake marketer and a backstabber when you don’t get your way.)
* Are your finances tight yet you keep telling yourself if you give things away (or undercharge) it’ll all work out and come back to you eventually? Yes No
(Karma does come back around – but not always the way we want it.)
* Are you an MLMer, DMer or party plan gal signed up for more than one business opportunity, yet you aren’t making real money you can actually live on at any of ‘em? Yes No
(My marketing rule number one is “a confused mind says no.” When people see you’re home-based, with no staff and in more than one business they’re less likely to buy anything from you.)
* Do you see dollar signs when someone says, “You don’t have to sell the product – you just have to share the product?” Yes No
(You should run the other direction. It’s a lie.)
Here’s how to score your results:
1-3 YES Answers: Admit it, you’re a cupcake marketer. You’re learning a lot about your business, having a great time and you just know that things will come around and the dollars will start rolling in soon. But even if they don’t – you’re having fun and that’s what’s most important, right?
4-6 YES Answers: You got it bad girrrrrl. You keep a happy smile on your face and you still LOVE the product(s) or services you offer. But there are time when you’re a little discouraged. You believe if you keep doing what you’re doing it’ll all work out and come back to you. After all, isn’t that what “attracting” is about? Thank God your (pick one) husband, savings, 401k are there to keep the bills paid. For awhile anyway.
7-9 YES Answers: You’re a lifer. You’ve been doing serial businesses for years now. You haven’t quite found one where you don’t have to SELL the product or service you just SHARE it. However, you keep looking and hoping and telling others everything is “Fabulous!” with your current business.
10 or more YES Answers: You’re either homeless, couch-surfing or you have a very patient husband, boyfriend or partner picking up the tab. You don’t make enough money to even pay for groceries. No biggie, if you made a bunch of money either you wouldn’t be happy or you’d leave the jerk, anyway.
Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Get your copy by clicking here. And, get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners like you to be all you can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.
In tomorrow’s post I’ll break cupcake marketing down into smaller crumbs so you can understand why you do it a little better and help you get on the road to recovery.
A Triumph for 35 Women Business Owners
by Denise Michaels
The most fun part of putting on a workshop is seeing the lights go on in the eyes of the participants. My job is to not just educate them – but also to entertain them and keep them wanting to listen for a full day. These are women who are dedicated to enjoy success. The kind of women who are willing to acknowledge maybe there’s something I can learn. I know they need more confidence. Maybe there are things I need to learn and do differently if I want to get a different result. I also know they need that cause and effect link between our personal selves and our business selves that results in a better outcome.
I woke up in the morning feeling both excited and calm and I think I stayed that way all day long. I had so much fun sharing “Testosterone-Free Marketing” with the attendees and my strategies to help customers happily say “yes.” The great thing about this workshop is that the attendees walk away not just with an attitude adjustment in terms of their self esteem – they also get hand on tools they can go out and use immediately.
People buy based on emotion – and then the back it up with logic.
One of the parts I love is when I ask people to share their insights, ah-has and light bulb moments. A woman who was asking all the right questions of her sales prospects – except she wasn’t asking for the sale. A woman realized how easy it was to sell when she was working for a big corporations – but once she was out on her own – everything changed. Another woman who realized as a life coach that she was doing everything wrong – because she was following the recommendations of the coaching institution where she got her training. There were major a-has for every person in the room.
I get so enthusiastic when I do an event like this.
The testimonials are already starting to come in:
“I do a lot of one-on-one meetings with prospective clients for my business so the most powerful tool I got from your workshop was how to use your Five Magic Questions to close more sales with ease. It became crystal clear to me how much money I’ve been leaving on the table. I also needed a way to tell my story so it’s succinct and emotionally compelling. You shared a perfect way to do that, too. I helped by handing out flyers about the workshop because I loved your book. Now that I’ve actually attended your workshop, I’m going to insist more women take it. I was amazed how some women felt they weren’t “ready” yet. Every woman business owner needs ‘How to Make Customers Happily say YES!’”
Liz Nitta
The Nitta Way
“Before attending Denise’s workshop I thought I had to discount my prices. I was undercharging and hurting myself. Also, I was marketing what I thought clients might want – I wasn’t marketing my passion for empowering women with their personal fashion. I discovered the more my fees are in alignment, the more value I create. I don’t have to be the “nice girl” giving stuff away hoping to get business with freebies. I also learned how to attract more ideal clients who will want to pay for my passion and knowledge. In just one day after attending your workshop I know who my ideal client is – people who will happily pay me what I’m worth. Now more than ever, if you think you have to discount, if you don’t have as many ideal clients you want, get to Denise’s next “How to Make Customers Happily say YES!” workshop. The price of NOT attending is way too high.”
Stephanie Ann Vehon
Image Empowering
“My marketing challenge before experiencing Denise Michaels’ workshop is that I love what I do and I’m good at it, but, I wasn’t happy with the number of people enrolled at my workshops. At her “How to Make Customers Happily say YES!” workshop, I discovered it was time to get out of my own way and stop talking about my workshop. Instead, focus on the needs, emotions and concerns of prospective attendees. Duh! It wasn’t rocket science but with Denise’s help I finally understood how I can help attendees and clients on a deeper level than ever.
Using Denise’s Five Magic Questions, I now stay on track. I’m focused on their concerns and how my workshop can help them get more of what they want. It’s simple and powerful. Any woman business owner who wants more people happily saying yes – don’t miss out. Reserve your space for Denise’s next workshop NOW! She uses life experience, humor, a shoot-from-the-hip style and her amazing marketing skills to empower and inform.”
Joy Huntsman
Joy & Associates
“I thought I was on top of it when it comes to marketing. However, I realized I knew what I liked but was clueless when it comes to understanding what my customers liked. Denise Michaels’ “How to Make Customers Happily say YES!” workshop forced me to question my beliefs about marketing. It was an intense experience because I was riveted learning how our belief systems impact our buying decisions. And her Five Magic Questions truly are magical to get better results closing the sale. It’s amazing when you finally get what we think is going on and what’s really going on. The workshop shook my foundation – in a good way. Now my business will be more successful than ever before.”
Talette Deitrick
Connections 2 Cruise
An Encouraging Success Story You’ll Enjoy
By Denise Michaels
On Monday, I got a wonderful email from a client. He was so excited because after putting it off, after going through a lot of financial hardship this last year with real estate and stocks, etc. After losing a beloved brother who always encouraged him and made him believe he could do anything. After going through a serious car accident with broken ribs and more – he finally took a massive step toward starting a new life for himself.
My client, I’ll call him Ned, mentored with me on a regular basis last year and was making great progress. He is sort of a massage therapist to the stars. People like actors Ted Danson and Ben Affleck are his clients. He wanted to take his secrets of how to have a very successful, profitable massage therapy practise out to other massage therapists. He wants to eventually stop doing massage and focus much more attention on workshops, trainings and other info-products. He’s already taught at a massage school.
His vision is all about finding a way to take his expertise to others and make that a business model. So we worked with that. I sensed he had a lot of fear around doing this without his brother there for him. His parents are deceased as well. There were even moments when he felt a little hopeless – I’d encourage him and he’d pull himself back up and get going again.
We put a lot of time into figuring out the agenda for his workshop. Years ago a woman with a Ph.D. in Instructional Design helped me put together my first workshop – so I shared that knowledge with him and together we came up with a wonderful program for him. It felt true and authentic to who he is and his experience and he knew it would help other massage therapists while also being fresh and new. We also talked about getting the word out and how to fill the room with the right people. People who were willing to learn AND willing to pay.
Then September 15, 2008 happened. The stock market was in an upheaval and he lost money. You remember. He owned two rental homes and both his tenants lost their jobs and couldn’t pay rent. So he was struggling to keep up the mortgages. The number of people booking massages with him dropped – so his income from that source dropped, too. Consequently, he wasn’t able to keep up marketing mentoring with me. But once in awhile he’d pay me for one session at a time. And he’d keep me posted by email.
I’m not 100 percent sure when my last mentoring session was with him. I’d have to look through my calendar. I think it was August. In between – except for connecting with me on Facebook – I didn’t really know if he was still working at it or not.
He was.
Monday when I got his email telling me what a triumph his workshop was the weekend before, I was jumping up and down excited for him. It’s just a start but his information was very well received and he also made a profit. Whoooo-hooo! He did it with a healing rib from his car accident – but he kept breathing through it (I’ve heard healing ribs are painful) and he was successful. In the last paragraph he said, “Denise, I put payment for another mentoring session with you in your paypal account – just let me know when you can meet.”
You might already know I have a workshop coming up this Monday November 2nd here in Las Vegas. I have three seats remaining so if you’d like to find out more and attend click on the link at the top of this page that says “Denise’s Events.” But the reason I’m digressing like this is because I’m very recently aware of all the work it takes to put together a successful event even if your health is just fine.
Ned is turning his life around in the direction he’s wanted to go for years now. He’s inching closer and closer to living his dream. And I couldn’t be more happy for him – and thrilled to know that I had a little something to do with his new success. What’s you’re dream and are you getting help and guidance in making those positive changes to your business income and your life.


Dedicated to every 40+ person still kickin' it. If you have dreams and adventures you refuse to abandon - follow me on the journey. Life is one big adventure! Make yours excellent.

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