By Denise Michaels

A couple days ago I wrote about something I dubbed, “cupcake marketing.” Women business owners who tend to expect everything free because they’re not so good at making decisions about their own business and hence they never have any money. So, they give everything away free – and then, they expect you to do the same because you’re a woman. They wouldn’t dare ask a man to do the same – but they expect you, a woman business owner to jump at the chance.

One woman commented in a Facebook message that she had three people today who EXPECTED her to give away her products for free. Can you imagine the gall? Expected her. Not even very polite. More threatening than anything else.

I told this woman if so many people are asking her for freebies that there’s gotta be something about her demeanor, her message or something that people seem to expect it. She needs to check in with what she’s doing first to see what it is about the impression or perception she’s giving off that’s creating that result. She can’t control others but she can certainly control what she does.

In my business, I don’t get a lot of this. But I hear it happening with other women a great deal.

I recently had someone start up a chat with me on Facebook. She was singing the blues about her financial situation – most of which I know is a result of not this recession but very poor decision making. She has a husband and two kids from a previous husband that are in her parents custody. She wanted money from me. She wasn’t even trying to sell me something just wanted a donation as if I’m some kind of patsy or something. I said, “Please, don’t ask me.”

She shot back, “Okay, I’ll just tell others you don’t care about mothers with children.”

Wow!

We need to learn what it truly means to support other women business owners. It means BUYING their product/service and paying for it. Not expecting freebies all the time That’s one way we can really step toward getting out of the pink collar ghetto of struggle and financial dependence.

Here’s the deal: you aren’t a charity. The women you know who are business owners – they’re not a charity either. No matter how much you may be struggling at the moment and would like someone to just write you a check. It’s not going to happen because you’re not a charity and you’re not a victim. Stop expecting others to treat you like one. Start learning how to market and sell effectively. Treat your business like a business and set the intention that others do the same.

I give money to charitable programs all the time. I give a monthly donation to public radio. I give money to efforts that help the homeless. I gave ten percent of the proceeds from my workshop last week to the charity Dress for Success helps women entering or re-entering the work force with training and a business-appropriate wardrobe. Occasionally, I’ll give money or help to someone who doesn’t ask for it but I can tell really could use it.

Last week I had someone offer to do a professional makeover on me: she’s a makeup artist. It was fun, I learned some great new tips and tricks that made my face look better. When it was done I purchased $100 worth of her cosmetics from her. They’re pretty high end so $100 didn’t buy everything but it’s a good start and an empowering way I could show support for her business. Click here to see Lisa Monette’s line of amazing OLA products. I supported her by buying her product – and when I’m ready I’ll buy more.

Many women have the mistaken notion supporting other women means offering a hug and a listening ear. Well, it does. But if you do only that – and then stop at the Estee Lauder counter to buy cosmetics – it’s not enough. Buy products and services from other women business owners. Tell other women to buy their products, too. When you do you’re setting up the Universal flow of prosperity and abundance so people are more likely to buy from you. If you’re a cupcake marketer and always expect freebies – the Universe gets that your mindset is in lack. And you get to have more lack. Don’t let it happen. Don’t be a cupcake marketer. Or, do things that attracts other cupcakes, too.

Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Get your copy by clicking here. And, get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners like you to be all you can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.