nice

Do You Cheat Others When You make a Profit?

One impressions I get from many women is that deep in your heart you may have a subconscious belief that you’re cheating others and are somehow bad if you make a profit.

Do you feel guilty when you make a healthy profit on what you do?

Do you charge enough for your products and services or do you undercut yourself at times?

Yesterday I had a meeting with a lovely woman who owns a business but spends all her time promoting others. She doesn’t take any money for doing this. In fact, when she’s tried to charge for helping others in this way – sending out notices for others on her e-newsletter and other promotional strategies – people are actually angry with her and say she should be doing it free.

In the meantime, her dear husband is working his tail off trying to make ends meet and his job is based on earning commissions. Unfortunately over the holidays the commissions were very low and now they’re trying to figure out how to pay all their bills.

I asked some probing questions of this woman and discovered that her Mother was a stay at home mom who only worked part time on an infrequent basis. My client got a lot of deeply negative messages about women who promote themselves and try to be anything but humble and meek. Messages like:

“Don’t get a big head.”
“Don’t be conceited.”
“Don’t be selfish.”

The message she got was that when she is nice and gives everything away and constantly helps others she’s being “a good woman.” When she does something for herself – she’s not a good woman. So, she keeps creating circumstances that reinforce that perception.

The challenge is when it’s time to pay the bills – if you’ve shorted yourself on what you charge, you end up falling short when it comes to your lifestyle and paying your bills. You can’t exactly go to your mortgage company or the grocery store and say, “Um, I’m a really nice person. Would you give me a little extra discount?”

Of course we know that’s silly. Why? Because these real businesses don’t give extra discounts. So if you consider yourself a real business – why are you undercutting yourself?

Here’s where it comes back around: In the real business world people don’t say, “Gee, that’s so nice. She’s only charging me $$ instead of $$$.” Instead they silently think, “She’s charging so much less than market rates – she must not be as good.”

Traditionally women always gave away our work. We have a history as volunteers. And, for centuries we were at the bottom of the totem pole when it came to jobs. Women were praised for being selfless and for constantly giving with no expectation of ever receiving anything in return except the warm fuzzy feelings of knowing we’ve helped. We made our husbands look good in the community while he took care of the messy job of going out and slaying dragons. Additionally, many of us have dealt with boyfriends, husbands and partners who became threatened when the woman they love made significant money or enjoyed a level of success.

We live in a very different world than the world our mothers lived in when they raised us. We were raised to be good wives, moms, sisters, daughters, friends and maybe a good employee. But we certainly weren’t raised to be a good business owners. And, it’s extremely difficult in this day and age for husbands to carry the whole load.

What thoughts, beliefs or attitudes were you raised with regarding the money you earn? Was it different for a girl in your home or your community compared to a boy? How much is enough? Is it fair for you to get a healthy profit? Will those warm, fuzzy feelings pay the rent or the mortgage?

Women are now starting businesses at double the rate of men. This has been true for over five years now. But many women business owners struggle because they’re uncomfortable about what it says about them to be successful when they feel a societal expectation for women to keep give everything away. Is it a good thing to make a profit? Or, does it mean you somehow had to claw over others to gain success? Is your business struggling because you’re new and just getting off the ground? Or are you struggling for other reasons?

All the best,

Denise Michaels
Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”

PS: Sign up for my free Marketing and Empowerment Tips by clicking here.

The Perils of Cupcake Marketing Strategy

By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”

Last week I had an amazing workshop with a roomful of women dedicated to creating success in their business and in their lives. There’s been a terrific buzz all over town since. Attendees have called to say the information I shared is helping them increase their business income already. I’ve gotten offers for more speaking engagements and it just goes on and on.

Which is great but I keep thinking about the women who said “no.” It seems like some women declined out of fear. I wonder how far these women will ever grow with their home-based businesses?

Let’s be honest. A lot of women say they’re dedicated business owners but they really have an expensive hobby. So, when asked to consider a small investment to discover easy, testosterone-free ways to grow, they’re not interested because they don’t want to grow. They take mincing steps forward and question spending ten bucks on flyers. But they spend hundreds on a new outfit or purse. They drive a great car. It’s all about priorities.

I call it Cupcake Marketing Strategy.

You know how women used to always get asked to bake cupcakes for the bake sale for their kid’s school, the church, the library or whatever? They were asked to bake, so they did. Some women still do – every time. Many women always comply when asked – and never ask for anything in return. Then the organization sells their hard work and ingredients, the cupcakes, for a dollar each. Eventually, many get a little peeved that they’re always asked. But they wouldn’t dare say “no.” After all, they want to “be nice.” Nice is more important than their time or their money.

Pitching in and giving everything away is admirable when it comes to helping out in the community. However, it can spell disaster in business when we use that same penny-pinching thinking and don’t speak up for ourselves.

I’ve met women who seriously undercharge for their products and services because they lack the marketing skills and confidence to charge what they’re worth. They think they’re “being nice.” However, “niceness” results in a constant squeeze for money. To compound matters, they end up having a tough time getting new customers because people mistake “niceness” for incompetence. They think, “Gee, you don’t charging the going rate. Must be because you’re not be as good.”

Being “nice” is a totally different thing from being “pleasant” or “polite.”

Here’s the crazy part: instead of learning to politely decline, they keep doing it. Einstein said, “Insanity means doing things the way you’ve always done them and expecting a different result.”

Next these ladies try to figure out ways to get things free or discounted from other women – because they’re financially strapped. They wouldn’t DARE ask a man to discount his prices. This results in more women with financial challenges. They feel they can’t say “no” because they want to be nice. Maybe they’ll gripe to someone else – but never the person who asked them. After all, they don’t want the other person upset.

Oh, puh-leez… can we all just grow up a little?

The whole thing has spiraled out of control like an over-sized swirl of buttercream frosting on top of a Red Velvet cupcake. We are held to a totally different standard of “how to do business” from men. In so doing, we’ve created a pink collar ghetto of women entrepreneurs struggling to avoid getting a real job. Women who say, “everything is great” when they meet others. Most aren’t thinking about thriving – they’re too busy just surviving. In my experience these women believe someday:

* I’ll be able to charge full price
* I’ll gain the respect I should have
* People will see my true worth
* I’ll make enough money to end the struggle
* I’ll stop working like crazy with very little reward

It’s like believing someday your Prince will come. He’ll sweep you up in his strong, muscular arms and take you away from all the financial stress. If you’re really nice it’ll all work out and you’ll be rewarded for that. Well, yes karmically I believe that what goes around comes around – but if there isn’t a focus on financial gain – it won’t necessarily come back as financial good.

Someday is today. Nothing will sweep your stress away if you don’t figure out effective, testosterone-free ways to create more business income. There are three ways to build more business income:

* Get more customers (new and repeat business)
* Charge more for what you do
* Get customers to make larger purchases when they buy

Prince Charming in your business is about increasing your confidence, your marketing and your testosterone-free selling skills.

Stop waiting for people to notice your worth like you waited for the cute boy you passed in the hall in high school to notice you. That’s okay in dating – but will spell disaster in your business.

Shift your thinking, level of “deserving-ness” and marketing skills, chances are you’ll your business income will increase. No one taps you on the shoulder and says, “Okay, the coast is clear. You can now charge $XXX per hour instead of $XX per hour.” No one gives you a raise or permission. You must give yourself permission. Validate yourself. Take yourself seriously.

If you have the intention and you’re willing to do what it takes to make it happen – then you’re dedicated. If this describes you send me an email at mentoringwithDenise@gmail.com and I’ll put you on my list of people interested in possibly attending my next workshop. It’ll be held in Las Vegas sometime in February or March of 2010 and it’ll probably be a two day event. Worth traveling to if you don’t live here already.

The point is I’ve watched enough victims of cupcake marketing who don’t even realize they’ve fallen prey to it’s perils. If you’re ready to stop struggling and live an abundant, financially prosperous and deeply satisfying life say, “ENOUGH!!!”

Denise Michaels is author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” You can get your copy by clicking here. And you can get Denise’s weekly empowerment and marketing tips by clicking here. Come join Denise Michaels in a movement to empower women business owners to be all that they can be and to have more joy, more fun and more success in your life.

Do You Believe You’re “Worth it”?

By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”

Over the last decade I’ve mentored over 1,500 small and home-based business owners – mostly women. I’ve probably talked to, networked with and had in my workshops and teleclasses, thousands more. All wanting support and marketing knowledge.

On the surface, that’s what they THOUGHT they wanted.

One of the impressions I get from many, many women I’ve met over the years is that deep in your heart you’re somehow cheating customers if you make a profit for what you do. Somehow, if you’re scraping by financially – you’re a noble and a better person for making less.

Traditionally women always gave away the work we’ve done. We have a long history as volunteers at our kids’ school, the library, the Candy Striper at the hospital, the church volunteer and more. Even in 2009, the majority of volunteers are women. For centuries, women were at the bottom of the totem pole with jobs. After World War II, we left the factory jobs and went back home so men returning from the battlefields could take the jobs.

Let’s be honest. For many women asking for money in business feels icky. It makes them uncomfortable. Traditionally bringing home the bacon was a man’s job. Our job was making a nice home, raising our children and doing nice things in the community. So many women figure, if they ask for the lowest amount of money possible in their business they’re altruistic and mistakenly believe they won’t have to market. They say they do it because they want to “be nice.”

The challenge is that when it’s time to pay the bills – if you’ve shorted yourself on what you charge, you end up falling short when it comes to your lifestyle and paying your bills. You can’t exactly go to your mortgage company or the grocery store and say, “Um, I’m a really nice person. Would you give me a little extra discount?”

Of course we know that’s silly. Why? Because these real businesses don’t give extra discounts. So if you consider yourself a real business – why are you undercutting yourself?

Here’s where it comes back around: In the real business world people don’t say, “Gee, that’s so nice. She’s only charging me $$ instead of $$$.” Instead they silently think, “She’s charging so much less than market rates – she must not be as good.”

And so it goes.

My suggestion: go to EmpowerUAcademy.com and download my free audio, “Break Through Your Internal Glass Ceiling.” If you like it and want more I suggest you get my “Unstoppable Confidence” program available at the same website. Oh, and don’t forget to sign up for my free Marketing and Empowerment Tips.