Let’s be honest.

Many women who own businesses say they’re dedicated to  creating success but they really have an expensive hobby.  They take mincing steps questioning spending ten bucks on flyers or twenty bucks for a new book. But they effort spend hundreds on a new outfit or purse. Will this help you get closer to living an excellent adventure?

I call it Cupcake Marketing.

Back in the day women were always asked to bake cupcakes for bake sales. So they did. Some women still do. Many women always comply – and never ask for anything in return. They give it all away. Their hard work and ingredients are sold.

Eventually, many get peeved they’re always asked to bake cupcakes. But they wouldn’t dare say “no.” After all, they want to “be nice.”  Nice is more important than time or money.

Giving is admirable. However, giving away too much can spell disaster in business.

I’ve met women who seriously undercharge because they lack marketing and selling skills. They also lack the confidence to charge what they’re worth. They think they’re “being nice.” However, “niceness” results in a constant squeeze for money. They end up having a tough time getting new customers because many people mistake “niceness” for incompetence. They think, “You don’t charging the going rate. You must not be as good.”

So, if you’ve read, “The 4-hour Work Week” by Timothy Ferriss you know you must figure out ways to get the greatest amount of money for the smallest expenditure of time.  If you’re a web designer and charge $35 an hour you have to work almost three times as many hours as the web designer who charges $100 an hour.

To make up for under-charging, these women try to get things free or discounted from other women. They don’t say “no” because they want to be nice. After all, they don’t want the other person upset.  This results in more women financially squeezed – it’s a race to the bottom and no one gets to enjoy an excellent adventure.

Oh, puh-leez… can we all just grow up a little?

The whole thing’s spiraled out of control like an over-sized swirl of buttercream frosting atop a Red Velvet cupcake. We’re held to a different standard of “how to do business” from men.  As a result, we’ve created a pink collar ghetto of struggling women who dream of living an excellent adventure but don’t believe they’ll ever get there. Women who say, “Everything’s great” when they meet others. Most are too busy surviving to thrive. In my experience these women believe someday they’ll:

• Finally start charging full price
• Gain the respect they should have
• Be seen by others for their true worth
• Make enough money to end the struggle
• Stop working like crazy with little reward

It’s like believing someday your Prince will come. He’ll sweep you up in his strong arms and take you away from all the financial stress. If you’re nice it’ll all work out and you’ll be rewarded. Wait and the cute boy will ask you to dance.  Yes, karmically what goes around comes around.  But if there no focus on financial gain – Karma won’t necessarily come back as money.

Nothing will sweep your stress away if you don’t figure out effective, testosterone-free ways to create more income. There are three ways to build more income in your business:

• Get more customers (new and repeat business)
• Charge more for what you do
• Get customers to make larger purchases when they buy

The real Prince Charming that will sweep you off to your excellent adventure takes place when you increase your confidence, your marketing and your testosterone-free selling skills.

Stop waiting for people to notice you like you waited for the cute boy in high school. That’s okay in dating – but spells disaster in business.

No one taps you on the shoulder and says, “Okay, you can now charge $XXX per hour instead of $XX per hour.” No one gives you a raise or permission in your own business. Give yourself permission. Validate yourself. Take yourself seriously.  (By the way, I’ve increased my rates for marketing mentoring twice since this recession started.)

If you’re willing to do what it takes then you’re dedicated.

I’ve watched enough victims of cupcake marketing who don’t even realize they’ve fallen prey. If you’re ready to stop struggling and live an abundant, financially prosperous and deeply satisfying excellent life say, “ENOUGH!!!”