Why Men are “Out There” About Their Businesses

By Denise Michaels, Author, “Testosterone-Free Marketing”

A lot of women, home-based business owners tell me they don’t “get” marketing and how it works. After all marketing is a universe most of us are totally unfamiliar with. We want to get everything right, and, we’re less likely to shoot from the hip compared to men. Well, I can’t clear up all the differences in one brief article, but I can help you become more clear about how and when you talk about your business with others.

One of my friends was working with a male colleague who was going to help her develop a marketing plan. Suddenly the marketing plan he promised slipped through the cracks. He told her he didn’t have time to do it after all. He was starting a new business and anticipated hiring 20 new employees by the end of the year.

Naturally she was disappointed but she was even more turned off by his posturing that he was “so important” and going to create a pretty significant business in such a short time. She thought it sounded like a typical male full of bravado, big promises and hot air. She told me she’d never say such overly-confident things until she was actually hiring people.

I told her when men do this they’re project outward. It’s natural for them but it doesn’t come as naturally for women. Very often men tend to make things up based on what they want to happen – not necessarily what has happened. Sure, they may do the math first. However, they might assume they’ll get the capital to hire those people before they have it in hand. They assume big clients will come through or getting capital will be a slam dunk. They have positive expectations and talk about ‘em – because it attracts more people with positive expectations. They may have sat down and thought it out just like you. Creating a business and a marketing strategy takes a lot of educated guesses, talking and sharing with others. But no one really knows for certain. They’re flying by the seat of their pants. It’s like jumping off a cliff and building a parachute on the way down.

Women on the other hand tend to not say a word until their plan and resources are totally nailed down and in place. We hold things closer to the vest. We tend to wait and hold back taking a more reluctant stance toward risk-taking. It’s not as natural for us to project outward. We don’t move as much energy out beyond us.

There’s nothing wrong with a little well-placed bravado. Certainly not if our intentions are to create a dynamic, profitable business. The wrong people might be turned off. However, the right people are likely to attracted to others who are passionate about their vision. When business owners project outward and share what they want with others – they’re actually more likely to attract it to them by saying it over and over. Moving energy. In some ways business and marketing are a make it up as you go along proposition.

In contrast, I’ve discovered many women feel they must have all their ducks in a row and everything done and in perfect order before saying anything or getting started. They are afraid someone might shoot them down immediately. My former husband used to say, “It’s better to be quiet and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.” He was not a business owner.

Some women feel incorporating ideas and suggestions from others doesn’t “count” unless they dig up the information themselves. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You don’t have to discover everything yourself without help. Men use good ideas where they find them. Networking is about more than meeting potential customers. It’s about meeting people who might help you solve problems and refer you to others.

On the surface it may sound like a good idea to be 110% sure before speaking up about what you want to create in your business. In reality when you stay silent you’re not moving energy, building momentum or attracting people, ideas and resources to you. Start talking excitedly and passionately with people about your vision for your business. Share with them your intention. Tell others what you need in the way of support and resources. When you share it, you’ll be amazed and happy how many great ideas, resources, solutions and people will come back to you.

Denise Michaels is a marketing mentor, trainer and author of the business bestseller, “Testosterone-Free Marketing.” Find out more about her at her websites below:

Marketing with Denise
Empower U Academy – Get marketing and empowerment tips here!
Get Testosterone-Free Marketing
My Copywriting Ebook

2 Responses to Why Men are “Out There” About Their Businesses

  • A fellow female business owner & I were talking recently about the difference between the male & female business owner and how men seem to easily value themselves fairly; whereas, women tend to devalue. Oy! And it really just hit me how much I hold myself back due to wanting to have all of my ducks in a row. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Thank you for writing this article & encouraging me to simply share my vision with others.

  • Denise says:

    Hi Cassandra:

    Thanks for your comment. Yes, it’s true. There are so many reasons why women tend to devalue ourselves based on our programming that’s different from men – I could write pages and pages of reasons about just that. And we often don’t even realize we’re doing it because we’ve got it flipped around and actually see those devaluing behaviors as what “a good woman” does.

    With my mentoring clients and in my workshops I help women to see that the behaviors they’ve defined as making them “good” since they were a little girls – can be a disaster in business. We were taught that as women we’re supposed to give everything away.

    Research and trying to get everything perfect – ducks in a row are common symptoms of avoiding doing business because we feel important doing that kind of work and there’s absolutely no possibility of rejection with those behaviors.

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